Education and the Anxious Child (Dr. Eli Lebowitz, Raina Telgemeier)
August 28, 2020Information
Educators have seen an increase in childhood anxiety for many years. As schools reopen their doors during these unsettled times, or as learning continues remotely, teachers and school counselors have an even greater role to play. This session explores what to look for in children as well as tools to address stress and anxiety.
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- 00:00Welcome back everybody.
- 00:01Thank you so much for being
- 00:04with us today or next.
- 00:06Panel is about anxiety, which is a topic
- 00:08that I think everybody listening and
- 00:11participating feels acutely infected.
- 00:13When Castle, the collaborative for academic,
- 00:16social and emotional learning,
- 00:17did a survey of thousands of participants
- 00:20to ask what words describe how their
- 00:23feeling through these pandemics.
- 00:25Anxiety was the number one word.
- 00:28And when we at scholastic do the
- 00:30survey of our employees with the same.
- 00:34Question that the same word
- 00:36emerged as a key topic,
- 00:38so we know that this next panel will
- 00:40be of keen interest to everyone,
- 00:43and I'm particularly excited about our
- 00:46panelists because they're reuniting
- 00:48the award winning duo of Eli Lebowitz.
- 00:50Who's the director of the anxiety center
- 00:52at the yellow South Study Center,
- 00:55Ann is also a friend of the collaborative
- 00:58and has been fielding so many questions
- 01:02that we get from educators and.
- 01:05And people around the country about anxiety.
- 01:08We're able to field them to Eli
- 01:10and he always answers.
- 01:12So thank you,
- 01:14Eli and thank you for being with us.
- 01:17And Raina telgemeier is one of our
- 01:20scholastic award winning authors who
- 01:22focuses graphic novels and one of her
- 01:25most recent books focused on anxiety.
- 01:28An I myself have sent it to
- 01:30families who are experiencing issues
- 01:33with their children and.
- 01:35What excites me,
- 01:36perhaps the most is that the mission
- 01:39of the collaborative for child and
- 01:42family resilience is that intersection
- 01:45between literacy and mental health.
- 01:48And so with these two panelists,
- 01:51we are particularly pleased
- 01:52to put that into action.
- 01:55So please enjoy the
- 01:57session. So these are the
- 01:59introduction Irina and I've been
- 02:01making graphic novels since 2006,
- 02:04professionally with Scholastic.
- 02:05I started out by.
- 02:07Illustrating the babysitters graphics
- 02:09series books one through 4 and then
- 02:12I published my own graphic memoir
- 02:14called smile and I've been doing
- 02:16original work ever since and my
- 02:18most recent book is called guts
- 02:19and the dial is a double entendre.
- 02:22I like to make sure that my titles are.
- 02:25It's about experiences that I had
- 02:27when I was in 4th and 5th grade,
- 02:30which is when I started experiencing anxiety.
- 02:33So I have a little mission
- 02:35statement when I talk to kids,
- 02:37whether it's about anxiety, whether it's.
- 02:39About reading and writing and drawing.
- 02:41Because a lot of my readers are
- 02:44interested in learning how to make stuff.
- 02:46I have three basic pieces of advice that I
- 02:49like to give them and they are read books,
- 02:53talk to people, and Share your story.
- 02:55So the first one is read books
- 02:58and this for me,
- 02:59is just, you know,
- 03:01kind of the foundation of what maybe?
- 03:04Saying when I was in elementary school,
- 03:06I remember specifically learning to
- 03:08read when I was in kindergarten.
- 03:10How empowering that felt,
- 03:11and I always loved illustrated books.
- 03:13So picture books and heavily
- 03:15illustrated novels and so many of my
- 03:18books came from the Scholastic book
- 03:20fairs in the Scholastic book clubs,
- 03:22so I would get those little Flyers in
- 03:24the Mail and I would get really excited
- 03:27and order whatever I wanted to read.
- 03:30You can see here in the slide that will
- 03:33be for Marion versus Logan Babysitters
- 03:35Club #23 is coming out that year.
- 03:38Is a big babysitters club and
- 03:40thanks to the book fairs,
- 03:42all my classmates were reading an.
- 03:44It's also where I got some of my comic
- 03:46books so I was a big big fan of Calvin
- 03:49and Hobbes by Bill Watterson and I
- 03:52think the thing that really resonates
- 03:54me with me or did as a kid was.
- 03:57It's just so much fun to look at.
- 03:59The artwork is exquisite.
- 04:00The characters come to life even
- 04:02though they're just ink lines on paper,
- 04:04but these characters were so real
- 04:06to me and they, you know.
- 04:08Comic strip characters,
- 04:09so they run around and they do silly
- 04:12things and they crack a lot of jokes,
- 04:14but Bill Watterson also really
- 04:15tapped into like the human psyche,
- 04:17and so this is a strip where Calvin
- 04:19had the flu and he couldn't sleep at
- 04:21night and he started to worry about it.
- 04:24And so he says,
- 04:25what if something is really wrong with
- 04:27me and I have to go to the hospital,
- 04:29would have basic people of tubes and hoses.
- 04:32What if they have to operate?
- 04:33But if the operation reels,
- 04:35but this is my last night alive
- 04:37and as a kid I could.
- 04:39Totally relate to this because I too
- 04:41was a warrior and it didn't take
- 04:43much to set me off and assent to send
- 04:46my brain kind of spiraling into a
- 04:48what if situation where the simplest
- 04:50of things made me think that I
- 04:53might be dying or I might be feeling
- 04:55a way that I could never escape.
- 04:58So this was comforting,
- 04:59I guess to see something resonated
- 05:01like this in a comic strip.
- 05:02And I read comics in the newspaper every day,
- 05:05so it was like every day I was coming
- 05:08down to breakfast and I was getting
- 05:10just a little piece of solids.
- 05:12And I mentioned being babysitters
- 05:13club ban rate from the start.
- 05:15I am a Christy and the character I
- 05:18probably related to the least in
- 05:19this series when I was a kid with
- 05:21Stacy who's very sophisticated an
- 05:23fashion conscious and she was from
- 05:25New York City and she was cool and
- 05:28all the other girls wanted to be her.
- 05:31But Stacy of course has a medical
- 05:33condition that she feels embarrassed
- 05:34by she has diabetes.
- 05:36And that means that she has to
- 05:37do eat a certain way and regulate
- 05:40her insulin levels.
- 05:41And if she doesn't be extremely careful,
- 05:43she can get very sick and she
- 05:45is in the beginning at least.
- 05:47Kind of embarrassed about it and shy to
- 05:49talk to her friends and doesn't want
- 05:52to reveal that something's going on with her.
- 05:54So it's like an invisible illness that you
- 05:57know about that nobody else knows about.
- 05:59And I also had an invisible
- 06:01illness growing up.
- 06:02And that was irritable bowel syndrome,
- 06:04so I looked normal.
- 06:05I talked normaly,
- 06:06acted normal but in the middle of
- 06:08nowhere I would get stomach aches
- 06:10and have to run to the bathroom.
- 06:12And it's happened to all the time
- 06:14and it seems like the more nervous
- 06:16I got the worst my stomach felt so
- 06:18being able to relate to a character
- 06:21in a super popular book series
- 06:23that everybody that was the coolest
- 06:25character of all maybe feel a
- 06:27little bit better.
- 06:28Weather favorite comic strip growing up
- 06:30was for better for worse by Lynn Johnston,
- 06:32which is a family comic strip
- 06:34about the Pattersons.
- 06:35Who were they live in a suburb of Toronto?
- 06:37I didn't even know they were Canadian
- 06:39for like 5 years because I was like,
- 06:42wait, they're just likely power.
- 06:43OK,
- 06:44but so the kids in this trip were
- 06:46about the same age as me and Elizabeth
- 06:48was the daughter in the family and
- 06:50in this strip she's being teased by
- 06:53one of her classmates because the
- 06:54classmate just got her ears pierced.
- 06:56And Lizzy really wants to Pierce
- 06:58your ears too.
- 06:59But her parents will let her,
- 07:01so there's like this,
- 07:02this teasing and this obnoxious quality.
- 07:04And that's another thing that
- 07:05I completely recognize,
- 07:06because I also had frenemies,
- 07:08as they now call them,
- 07:09girls that had been in my life
- 07:12since I was a kid.
- 07:13Girls that were in my classroom.
- 07:15My Girl Scout troop,
- 07:16whose house I had been too many
- 07:18times and they weren't always very
- 07:20nice to me and I was extremely
- 07:22confusing to me as a kid.
- 07:24So knowing that Elizabeth was
- 07:26going through something similar,
- 07:27it even though she was fiction,
- 07:29helped me a lot.
- 07:30So I started reading comics
- 07:32when I was about 9 years old
- 07:35and got really really into them,
- 07:37and when I was 10 at my dad gave me
- 07:40a book to read, called barefoot,
- 07:42get subtitle a cartoon story of Hiro
- 07:45Shima by an artist named Keiji Nakazawa.
- 07:47So it's a graphic novel about family growing
- 07:50up during World War Two in Hiroshima,
- 07:52Japan, which is of course the
- 07:54first city that had an atomic bomb
- 07:57dropped on it during the war,
- 07:59and we just passed the 75th anniversary of.
- 08:01That experience and I didn't
- 08:03know too much about it.
- 08:04I knew that there had been a
- 08:06bomb that there was a war and my
- 08:08dad gave me this comic to read.
- 08:10And here I am reading it at
- 08:12camp like on my camp bed.
- 08:13I'm like who comics cool.
- 08:14I like comics alot.
- 08:16I like comics about kids.
- 08:17There are silly and they do silly
- 08:19stuff just like Calvin and Hobbes do.
- 08:21But at the end of the first volume
- 08:22the Bum Falls an half of the
- 08:24characters in the book die and I was
- 08:26so unprepared for that because to me,
- 08:28comics were supposed to be funny.
- 08:30They were supposed to make you happy
- 08:32and they were always supposed to have.
- 08:34Your punch lines or happy endings and
- 08:36this book had none of those things.
- 08:38In fact,
- 08:38it ended right after the bomb
- 08:40falls on sort of a cliffhanger
- 08:42because there was volume.
- 08:43Dude,
- 08:43I didn't know there was
- 08:44a volume 2 so it edited.
- 08:46It was just like to be
- 08:48continued and I just lost it.
- 08:50I couldn't believe that
- 08:51this had really happened,
- 08:52that the author had been through this
- 08:54experience and that you know that my
- 08:56dad like given me this book to read
- 08:59and thought I was going to like it,
- 09:01but I don't.
- 09:01I think like it is the wrong word.
- 09:04I think it was important.
- 09:05I think that this book changed my life.
- 09:07I think this book.
- 09:08Put me into the mindset that comics
- 09:11were such a powerful way to tell
- 09:13a story that I felt like I had
- 09:15been there with GED like he and
- 09:17I were friends and that maybe I
- 09:19was even my leaving him myself.
- 09:21So so comics can really put you into
- 09:23the shoes of another character.
- 09:24And so the empathy that I felt
- 09:26for him and his family was just
- 09:28extraordinary and his stuff with
- 09:30me my whole life.
- 09:31So I like to say that when you read books,
- 09:34you feel less alone because you'll
- 09:36find that you can either relate to
- 09:38or see yourself in other characters.
- 09:40I'm grateful that I had books
- 09:42when I was a kid.
- 09:44The second piece of advice is to
- 09:46talk to people and I don't know
- 09:48if saying those words just like
- 09:49registers the way that I want it too,
- 09:52because most of us talk to people
- 09:53right like a for whatever purpose,
- 09:55but what are we talking to each other about?
- 09:58That is the question.
- 09:59Are we just talking? About our day.
- 10:01Are we talking about our lunch?
- 10:02Are we talking about?
- 10:05The books that we read or
- 10:06the TV shows that we watched.
- 10:08I was a kid who like to talk about
- 10:10the books that I was reading.
- 10:12So at lunchtime I would bring my
- 10:14copies of Calvin and Hobbes to
- 10:16school and I would just talk and
- 10:17talk and talk about how much I liked
- 10:20the comics and I was really geeky,
- 10:21but I wasn't talking to my
- 10:23friends about the deeper stuff.
- 10:25What is it that you're so afraid of?
- 10:28People would sometimes ask me?
- 10:30I had a lot of anxiety and a lot
- 10:32of it came from circumstantial
- 10:34stuff like not doing well on tests
- 10:36and being really bad at math.
- 10:38And you know the stress of
- 10:40school made me feel ill.
- 10:41Sometimes it would give me a stomach ache,
- 10:44but that was not the thing that
- 10:46was really going on inside.
- 10:48What is it that you're so afraid of?
- 10:51It wasn't even the fact that I was
- 10:53being bullied by my classmates,
- 10:54which I was.
- 10:55This girl in particular would call
- 10:57me things like Poopy Diaper baby
- 10:59because she had picked up on the
- 11:01fact that I was constantly leaving
- 11:02class to go to the bathroom.
- 11:04And of course, if I yelled at her,
- 11:06I was the one who got in trouble for it.
- 11:09And that's just the kind of
- 11:11injustice that happens to you all
- 11:13the time when your kid.
- 11:14But this is not what was
- 11:16really going on the inside.
- 11:18What is it that you're so afraid of?
- 11:22So now I'm going to reveal my biggest fear,
- 11:25which I've had since I was a kid.
- 11:28I am phobic of throwing up whether
- 11:30it's myself or other people or
- 11:32even if I see it on televisions,
- 11:35so that's it.
- 11:35That's my biggest fear and thank you
- 11:38for letting me share that with you.
- 11:40I have to say that being able to
- 11:43tell people what my biggest fear is
- 11:45takes some of the sting out of it.
- 11:47It takes some of the power out of
- 11:50the fear and lets me talk about
- 11:52it as if it's an object that's
- 11:54not living inside of my body.
- 11:57So this is what my book.
- 11:59That's about and there is the
- 12:00double entendre I grew up with.
- 12:02I BS and I grew up with a phobia
- 12:04and the two things were extremely
- 12:06connected to one another.
- 12:08So it's all about my guts, right?
- 12:10So I really tried to take the
- 12:12reader inside of a panic attack
- 12:13because not everybody has had one.
- 12:15I experienced my first one when I was nine,
- 12:18and it happened because I felt
- 12:20sick and I thought that I was
- 12:22gonna throw up an I didn't.
- 12:23But the fear that I might was worse than if
- 12:26I actually had. So I had the full body.
- 12:29You know heart racing and sweating
- 12:31and it's so hard to describe it,
- 12:34but as a cartoonist I have access to
- 12:36things like sound effects and color
- 12:39and line and being able to draw big
- 12:42panels or small panels just to kind
- 12:44of take the reader into how it feels.
- 12:47And then they can put their own
- 12:49experiences on top of that.
- 12:51And if they see themselves
- 12:53in this that's amazing.
- 12:54And if they don't they can go.
- 12:57Gosh, that sounds really terrible.
- 12:58Friend, tell me more.
- 13:00Um, for me it feels like the world
- 13:03is ending an like I can't get out of
- 13:06a little tiny space that I'm trapped
- 13:08inside and I'll be there forever.
- 13:11Another way that my panic and phobia
- 13:13manifested when I was younger's that
- 13:14I became afraid to eat because I was
- 13:16afraid that if I ate the wrong food
- 13:18it would give me food poisoning or
- 13:20if I touch the wrong thing it would
- 13:22infect me or if I eat too much of
- 13:24something or if I eat too much sugar.
- 13:26So my parents around this time started
- 13:28to kind of blew it and say OK,
- 13:30something's not right with right now
- 13:31we need to get her some help and I'm
- 13:34very grateful that they were able to do that.
- 13:37Dad had just gotten a new job,
- 13:38which meant we had health insurance,
- 13:40which meant that I was fortunate enough to
- 13:42be able to go and see a child psychologist.
- 13:44So this is when I was in fifth
- 13:47grade and her name is Lauren and
- 13:49I didn't want to go see her.
- 13:52Danger she was a grown up,
- 13:53but what's interesting about therapy is
- 13:55that it is kind of a form of storytelling,
- 13:57because that's that's what you do.
- 13:59You sit in a room with the person
- 14:00and they ask you questions and you
- 14:02try to come up with the answers
- 14:04and the answers themselves can be
- 14:06stories that you didn't know existed,
- 14:07but that they were inside of you
- 14:09the whole time.
- 14:10So learning to tell those stories
- 14:12is a big part of it,
- 14:13and a lot of times she would ask me
- 14:16questions like are you being bullied?
- 14:18And I didn't know how to answer that,
- 14:20because to me bullying that I was
- 14:22being punched or kicked or tripped,
- 14:24or you know, like physical things,
- 14:26where is my bullies were just calling
- 14:28me names and they were just teasing me
- 14:31very subtly so I didn't know how to answer.
- 14:33But gradually we started talking
- 14:35about my life and the fact that I
- 14:37lived in a very small apartment with
- 14:39several siblings and had to share
- 14:41space with them and didn't have
- 14:43like my own space to get away too.
- 14:46And I think honestly,
- 14:47that space is what drawing was.
- 14:49John was my safe.
- 14:51Quiet personal space.
- 14:53Anne and then again trying to
- 14:55illustrate a panic attack.
- 14:56It's really difficult,
- 14:57but one of the messages that runs
- 15:00throughout the book is to
- 15:01try no matter what it is.
- 15:03Whatever you're afraid of,
- 15:04whatever you think is going
- 15:06to hurt you in a safe space
- 15:08like therapy or probably will.
- 15:10So try just try it. Try talking about it.
- 15:12Try touching it. Try eating it.
- 15:15It really helps me.
- 15:16But the idea that being scared
- 15:18or being anxious is kind of
- 15:20like standing on a spider web.
- 15:22It's so so delicate and
- 15:24you could fall at anytime,
- 15:25but it's still strong and still support.
- 15:28If this is a lot to learn.
- 15:31But it did give me the opportunity
- 15:32to finally open up to my friends,
- 15:34and when I did tell them
- 15:36I was going to therapy,
- 15:37I was so surprised to find
- 15:39that most of them also were.
- 15:42Now I think it's more common.
- 15:44I think that there's less of a
- 15:46stigma in our current culture too.
- 15:49Be in therapy to take medication.
- 15:50To admit that you are you have
- 15:52a diagnosis of some sort,
- 15:54but I mean opening up to my
- 15:56friends is probably one of the best
- 15:58things that ever happened to me.
- 16:00So I tell people to talk to people about
- 16:03what's really going on and to be brave.
- 16:06And the final bit of advice I have is to
- 16:08Share your story and that's something
- 16:10I've been doing for myself since 2010.
- 16:13I became a graphic Alice in 2006
- 16:15and smile is published in 2010.
- 16:17But smile.
- 16:18Sisters and cuts are all memoirs
- 16:19and Rama and ghosts are fictional.
- 16:21But they are both rooted in real life.
- 16:24Real experiences,
- 16:25real people,
- 16:25and most importantly real feelings.
- 16:27So I always love to show the
- 16:29drawings that I did when I was a kid,
- 16:32because kids are always curious,
- 16:33like if I always knew how to
- 16:35draw and how I started.
- 16:37And and what tips I have in
- 16:39the chips are just draw like my
- 16:41drawings were not good when I was
- 16:43young going on the left is from
- 16:45shortly before my second birthday.
- 16:47It's just a scribble.
- 16:48It's dedicated to Grandma,
- 16:50the one on the right is from closer
- 16:52to age 3 or 4 and at least at this
- 16:55point I was starting to see shapes.
- 16:57I was starting to understand that people
- 16:59have bodies and I guess pizzas for his.
- 17:01I don't know what that's about
- 17:03and then these are some of my
- 17:05first comics that I ever made.
- 17:07From about age 10 and it was really
- 17:10just flirting to figure things out
- 17:11and I discovered things like it's
- 17:13easier to draw the box 1st and then
- 17:15draw the picture inside of the box.
- 17:17It's also easier to write the
- 17:19words first and then draw the
- 17:21word balloon around the words,
- 17:22but I didn't have a teacher.
- 17:24I didn't have any instructive books.
- 17:26I just sat down and figured it
- 17:29out and overtime I improved.
- 17:31And in college I was given an
- 17:33assignment in a cartooning class
- 17:34and I went to the school of Visual
- 17:36Arts in New York City, 'cause they
- 17:38have a car training program there.
- 17:40So I was able to take courses with
- 17:42actual cartoonists and structures,
- 17:43and I learned so much.
- 17:45So one of our assignments was
- 17:46to draw a short comic about the
- 17:49first comic that we ever read.
- 17:51I chose not to draw and
- 17:53write about comic strips.
- 17:54I chose to write about the experience
- 17:56of reading barefoot again and how
- 17:58it affected me and how I was camping
- 18:00with my family and how my mom asked
- 18:03me how I was doing and I said,
- 18:05I think that book ruins my life and she
- 18:07said maybe it actually made your life better.
- 18:10You just haven't realized it yet,
- 18:12and she's right, of course,
- 18:14and I have my job.
- 18:15I I illustrate books for
- 18:17scholastic because of this story,
- 18:18because this was published as a mini comic.
- 18:21I was stabling at a comic convention
- 18:23and one of the people that bought
- 18:25him any comment from me at that
- 18:27convention was David Saylor,
- 18:29Kuzia Toryal, Director of graphics,
- 18:30and he loved the story and he
- 18:32said this is great. I'd love to.
- 18:34I'd love to work with you.
- 18:36I'd like to publish you.
- 18:38I'd love to publish this story
- 18:39that was in 2004.
- 18:41I still haven't published that story
- 18:42as a full fledged graphic novel,
- 18:44but I've done so much else in the
- 18:47meantime so that story was also
- 18:49republished in Japan afew years ago.
- 18:51Favorite game was banned in one of the
- 18:53prefectures because it's been pretty
- 18:55controversial over the years and a
- 18:57lot of people think that it should
- 18:59not be read by children because war is awful.
- 19:01An war is terrible and children
- 19:03shouldn't be exposed to that,
- 19:04and I think there was also a
- 19:06little bit of concern that,
- 19:08like it wasn't showing what was accurate.
- 19:10So the conversation about war and propaganda
- 19:12has been going on for a long time,
- 19:14but I wrote a short story about it an I wrote
- 19:17it from the point of view of my kids self,
- 19:20and so somebody discovered my work.
- 19:23And asked if they could reprint it,
- 19:25but translated into Japanese and
- 19:26just put it up on their website.
- 19:28Still like their kids can
- 19:30see that in American child.
- 19:31Read the book and then it was helpful
- 19:33and this story just picked up so much
- 19:36steam it was republished in the Esaki
- 19:38times and then I was being interviewed
- 19:40by Japanese reporters and getting
- 19:42emails from people thanking me for this.
- 19:44And so I like to say that like this,
- 19:47this was a little three page
- 19:48story that I wrote in the year
- 19:512002 and it still has traction.
- 19:52I'm still hearing.
- 19:53People who appreciate the fact
- 19:55that I wrote it, glad I wrote it.
- 19:57I'm going to tell my story and then after.
- 20:00Publishing short mini comics like
- 20:02this one I started working on
- 20:04another personal story about an
- 20:05experience that I had when I was in
- 20:08middle school where I tripped and
- 20:09fell and knocked out my 2 front permanent
- 20:12teeth so you can see on the slide here,
- 20:14which was taken just a few months later
- 20:17that I knocked the two front ones out and
- 20:19then my dentist put them back into my head,
- 20:22but when he did so,
- 20:24the two front teeth were dislocated.
- 20:25They suddenly set up higher in my
- 20:27mouth then they were supposed to,
- 20:29so it looked weird.
- 20:30I look like a vampire had this
- 20:32strange gap in the front of my mouth.
- 20:34I also had a snaggle tooth.
- 20:37So I started just writing this
- 20:39experience 20 years later because I had
- 20:41been telling that story over and over
- 20:43again that I just need to get it out.
- 20:45I just need to get it down the page.
- 20:47So that's what smile is.
- 20:49Smile is that true story?
- 20:50It's about not being at My 2 front
- 20:52teeth and then spending 4 1/2
- 20:54years dealing with the outcome.
- 20:55Not just what happened in
- 20:57the orthodontist chair,
- 20:58which was pretty interesting,
- 20:59but also what happened socially and
- 21:01what happened on the inside and
- 21:02how I felt about the experience.
- 21:04And I was.
- 21:05Blown away by how many people
- 21:07responded to smile,
- 21:08not necessarily because they had
- 21:10knocked out their two front teeth,
- 21:12but because they've been through
- 21:14something else that made them feel
- 21:16different or made them feel like
- 21:18they didn't belong or didn't fit in.
- 21:20And so I've had millions of
- 21:22conversations over the past 10
- 21:23years with kids and with grownups.
- 21:25And with people that remember some
- 21:27of the little touchstones that
- 21:29I put into the story,
- 21:30this book is changed my life completely
- 21:33because I wanted to tell my story.
- 21:35And I also wrote sisters, which is.
- 21:37More about my siblings and I and
- 21:39having to take a road trip with them.
- 21:42Always fun for everybody.
- 21:43Another story that people could
- 21:44relate to and most of the the
- 21:46reader email like it is.
- 21:47I can relate to this book
- 21:48because I have a sister do.
- 21:51Very cool and one of my
- 21:53fictional books is called ghosts,
- 21:55and it's a supernatural story
- 21:57about family and illness and
- 21:58all sorts of things that didn't
- 22:00really happen in real life.
- 22:02But the main character cat,
- 22:03who's the older sister suffers from anxiety,
- 22:06and so I talk a lot about just
- 22:08who she is and how she feels.
- 22:11And when I would give presentations
- 22:13about this book on my book tour,
- 22:15I would say so cat has anxiety and she
- 22:18and I actually have that in common.
- 22:21And then I would move on to the
- 22:23next slide and people were like,
- 22:24wait, wait, wait, tell us more.
- 22:26That's really interesting because
- 22:27we know a lot of people that have
- 22:29anxiety and we want to hear bout yours.
- 22:31So I wasn't sure if I was ready
- 22:33to talk about it.
- 22:34But I got so much feedback people
- 22:35wanted to hear that story and so that's
- 22:37the reason that I wrote butts was I
- 22:39had this conversation over and over.
- 22:41So I felt like, alright,
- 22:42let's let's talk about the
- 22:43therapy that I've been through.
- 22:45Let's talk about some of the
- 22:46coping techniques and justice,
- 22:47the ways that I learned to breathe in
- 22:49the ways that I learn to ground my feet.
- 22:52And the ways that over the years I've
- 22:54been able to not sure or fix anxiety,
- 22:56but just to learn to live with it.
- 22:58And for me, I think the best coping strategy
- 23:01I'd ever had is that I like to draw.
- 23:03I like to tell stories.
- 23:06Please tell kids.
- 23:07It's OK if you're not
- 23:09an artist or cartoonist.
- 23:11There's so many other ways
- 23:12to express yourselves.
- 23:13Find 1 whatever it is,
- 23:15whether it's you know making
- 23:17YouTube videos or performing plays
- 23:19for your friends or writing.
- 23:20Or Gosh,
- 23:21there's so many ways to tell your story.
- 23:23Choose whatever feels the
- 23:25most authentic for you.
- 23:26I did that, and I'm glad that I did.
- 23:29Because when you Share your story,
- 23:31it helps other people feel less alone.
- 23:34Thank you.
- 23:34Thank you so much.
- 23:38Irina, thank you so much
- 23:40for sharing your story.
- 23:41It was completely relatable.
- 23:43I think for everyone watching
- 23:45an I think that the way you
- 23:47tell your story so beautifully,
- 23:49both in in your books and in person.
- 23:52So thank you for sharing and
- 23:54that advice to read books.
- 23:56Talk to people,
- 23:58be brave and Share your story.
- 24:00I think I just.
- 24:02You know,
- 24:03for great pieces of advice for
- 24:05educators who are dealing with
- 24:07children and their staff going
- 24:08back to school and and covid.
- 24:10So thank you so much and will have
- 24:13questions at the end of the session
- 24:15and now we'd like to hear from Eli.
- 24:20Alright, thank you very much.
- 24:22I'm Eli Lebowitz about the
- 24:24yell child study center.
- 24:26Ann. I study entry,
- 24:28childhood anxiety and thank you
- 24:30very much for that wonderful talk.
- 24:33I can say that I read and loved guts,
- 24:38but more importantly,
- 24:39as the father of three children,
- 24:42one of whom is a particularly
- 24:44anxious child and the other who
- 24:47are sometimes anxious children.
- 24:49More importantly than I loved it,
- 24:52they loved it and so could not
- 24:55recommend it more strongly.
- 24:57For anybody interested in overcoming anxiety.
- 25:00So I'm going to bring up some slides as well.
- 25:04OK, what I'm going to do is talk a
- 25:07little bit about childhood anxiety
- 25:10and childhood anxiety problems.
- 25:13Hopefully will be able to understand
- 25:15these problems just a little bit more,
- 25:18and think about how.
- 25:21We can detect them and address them
- 25:25both at home and in the school setting.
- 25:30So understanding, noticing and helping.
- 25:35I know conflicts of interest to disclose,
- 25:39So what we talk about?
- 25:42Anxiety disorders, anxiety problems.
- 25:44These are the main anxiety problems that
- 25:48we currently diagnose and see in children.
- 25:51I'll just say what they are really.
- 25:55Briefly, we have our phobias
- 25:57just starting at the top.
- 26:00Phobias, phobias are strong, exaggerated,
- 26:03irrational fears of anything could be vomit.
- 26:07Could be many other things as well.
- 26:09Sometimes it's an animal,
- 26:10sometimes natural phenomenon like the
- 26:12dark or are storms or things like that.
- 26:14If you ever really want to waste
- 26:17a day or two of your life,
- 26:19Google things that end in phobia
- 26:21and you'll see that people love
- 26:23nothing more than to find the Latin
- 26:25word or Greek word for something
- 26:27and attack on phobia at the end.
- 26:29But actually there are certain
- 26:31phobias that are a lot more common
- 26:33and they have to do with the things
- 26:36that pose threats to human beings.
- 26:38Over the course of our evolutionary history,
- 26:41and so there are a lot more children
- 26:44who are scared of animals than there
- 26:48are children who are scared of.
- 26:51Electrical sockets, for example.
- 26:52Even though many parents would probably
- 26:55prefer their child be just a little bit
- 26:57more wary and cautious of that instead,
- 27:00and phobias can really disrupt your life,
- 27:02even though they seem to be so
- 27:05specifically focused on a particular thing.
- 27:07Our tendency to generalize our
- 27:09avoidance of the things that we fear
- 27:11means that even a very specific phobia
- 27:14can have an extremely disruptive
- 27:15impact on a child's life.
- 27:17So, for example,
- 27:18that child who is afraid of dogs.
- 27:21May not only be afraid when they faced
- 27:23by a large scary dog wants to bite them,
- 27:26they may also be scared of seeing a
- 27:29picture of a dog on TV or in a book.
- 27:32They may be scared of leaving the
- 27:34house at all because what if there
- 27:36is a dog outside and so they can
- 27:38really impact and impair Childs
- 27:40functioning on a day to day basis?
- 27:43Panic.
- 27:44Random mention panic in her in her talk,
- 27:48and for those who haven't experienced a
- 27:50panic attack in the past panic attacks.
- 27:53It's a little bit like a wire tripping
- 27:56in your brain and your just awash in
- 27:59these tremendous waves of anxiety.
- 28:01But crash over you with racing heart
- 28:04and short breath and trembling.
- 28:06Sometimes your perception seems to
- 28:08shift so it feels like the world
- 28:11looks weird or something is strange,
- 28:13and it's a very scary and uncomfortable.
- 28:16I'm experience and a key thing to know
- 28:19about panic attacks is that they're
- 28:22actually not very dangerous themselves.
- 28:25Your child's body isn't working
- 28:27significantly harder when they're
- 28:28having a panic attack then it
- 28:30does when they run a quick Sprint.
- 28:32When you run quickly,
- 28:33your body also is showing similar responces.
- 28:36Your heart races and you might tremble
- 28:38and you might be out of breath
- 28:41and you might be sweaty,
- 28:42but you know why your body is doing
- 28:45that because you just ran and so
- 28:47that makes it understandable and
- 28:48controllable in a way that's not frightening
- 28:51when it happens without a clear explanation.
- 28:54That is, when you are the most terrified.
- 28:56Of it, and you become very scared that
- 28:58you'll have additional attacks like that.
- 29:01And that's when panic
- 29:02disorder really sets in.
- 29:03When you get so scared of having another
- 29:05panic attack that you worry about it
- 29:07constant like or you start to avoid
- 29:10situations where you may have a panic attack.
- 29:12For example, maybe you had it in the mall.
- 29:15Now you never want to go to the mall
- 29:18anymore or you had it on the bus.
- 29:20Now you don't want to ride the bus anymore.
- 29:23I'm very closely linked to panic disorder is
- 29:25a Gora Phobia which is avoiding situations.
- 29:27In my life,
- 29:28because you think you might have panic
- 29:30like symptoms and you'll be trapped
- 29:32there and you won't be able to escape.
- 29:34And maybe it will be humiliating.
- 29:36'cause other people would notice it.
- 29:37And so you avoid those situations.
- 29:39And that's a goreaphobia.
- 29:41Generalized anxiety,
- 29:42I'm going through these fairly quickly.
- 29:45Generalized anxiety disorder is you
- 29:47could think of this as chronic worry.
- 29:50It's when your mind is taken over by these
- 29:54persistent chronic worries that are hard
- 29:57to stop and that really can be exhausting.
- 30:00They can take a tremendous toll.
- 30:02It's like having an antenna on
- 30:04your child's head that is tuned to
- 30:06pick up anything there is to worry
- 30:08about it and then just run with it,
- 30:10sometimes for hours.
- 30:11So maybe you heard something on
- 30:13the news about COVID-19 and now
- 30:14you're worried about that where you
- 30:16heard something about cell phones
- 30:18and cancer and you start thinking
- 30:19of all the people in your life.
- 30:21We use a cell phone,
- 30:23which Is everybody and so are
- 30:24they all going to get cancer.
- 30:26Will they all died now and one of the
- 30:29ironies of Generalized Anxiety is that it's.
- 30:31Often those times when you would
- 30:33otherwise have the opportunity to
- 30:35rest to rebuild your stores of energy,
- 30:37when those worries come up the
- 30:39most you might be focused on them
- 30:41less when you're really busy,
- 30:43or you're playing a sports
- 30:44game or something like that,
- 30:46but then you're trying to relax.
- 30:48You're watching a movie,
- 30:49or you're lying in bed at
- 30:51night and trying to sleep.
- 30:53And all those worries come up so you're
- 30:55robbed of the opportunity to actually
- 30:57recreate your energy and to get rest.
- 30:59And that's why generalized
- 31:01anxiety will often.
- 31:02Need to sleep deprivation and to
- 31:04illness because your immune system
- 31:06gets wear down your fatigued your
- 31:09attention is impaired because you're
- 31:11so tired and many children will also
- 31:14start to develop aches and pains
- 31:16like stomach aches and back aches.
- 31:19And so this really takes a tremendous toll.
- 31:23Social anxiety disorder,
- 31:25also called social phobia,
- 31:26is as it sounds, social phobia.
- 31:28Isn't it kind of Extreme,
- 31:30Impairing Shyness where you fear
- 31:32the negative evaluation of other
- 31:34people and so you might be avoidant
- 31:37of situations where
- 31:38you'll call attention to yourself,
- 31:40like talking to somebody or raising
- 31:42your hand in class, for example,
- 31:44or going to the school outing or
- 31:47meeting or party or anything like that.
- 31:50And it's important to remember that
- 31:52children with social anxiety disorder.
- 31:54Not this interested in social contact.
- 31:56They may work hard to avoid social situations
- 31:59because they fear that they will go poorly.
- 32:01Will make a fool of himself,
- 32:03will say the wrong thing
- 32:05will be an awkward silence,
- 32:06and so they cut themselves
- 32:08off from social interaction.
- 32:09But they can also be very lonely and
- 32:11wish that they had friendships and
- 32:13interactions with peers where they did
- 32:15feel comfortable where they didn't have
- 32:17to worry about how things are going to go.
- 32:21Separation anxiety disorder,
- 32:22which is particularly common in
- 32:24young children but not limited to
- 32:26young children's fear of separation
- 32:27from your caregivers.
- 32:28Here, attachment figures,
- 32:29typically your parents and that can
- 32:31be a fear of something that will
- 32:33happen to me when my parents aren't.
- 32:35There may be a burglar will come
- 32:37and take me where it can be.
- 32:39A fear that something will happen
- 32:41to your parents when they are away,
- 32:43like getting in a car accident for
- 32:45things like that and then they won't
- 32:47come home and will be alone and children.
- 32:49Separation anxiety will sometimes fear
- 32:51not just long separations like I don't
- 32:53want my parents to go away for the weekend.
- 32:56It can also be I don't want to
- 32:57be in another room from that.
- 32:59I don't want to close the door when I'm
- 33:01in the bathroom because I wanted to be
- 33:03able to see my parents and speak with
- 33:05them where I can't sleep alone at night.
- 33:08And I included here also OC D,
- 33:10which is obsessive compulsive disorder
- 33:12and obsessive compulsive disorder is
- 33:14made up of obsessions and compulsions.
- 33:16The O is the obsessions and those
- 33:19are intrusive thoughts that come
- 33:20unbidden into my mind and unwanted.
- 33:22But I can't stop them.
- 33:24And they made me scared or uncomfortable.
- 33:27It can be thoughts like Downing.
- 33:29did I do that thing that I know I did,
- 33:32because I remember? But what if I didn't?
- 33:35And so maybe I feel the need to check?
- 33:38And that is the.
- 33:40See the compulsion that
- 33:41behavior ritualized behaviors.
- 33:42Sometimes it seems like
- 33:43extreme superstitions.
- 33:44Having to repeat behaviors
- 33:45or do them a special way.
- 33:47Touch something a certain
- 33:48number of times for example.
- 33:50Or maybe I'm in my obsessions are
- 33:52around symmetry and how things are
- 33:54arranged and I have to arrange the
- 33:57things in my room a certain way or
- 33:59even create symmetry in my body by
- 34:01evening out the two sides of my body.
- 34:04Like touching something with my right hand.
- 34:06If I touched it with my left hand.
- 34:09And these can be very strange thoughts.
- 34:11They can seem like strange
- 34:13thoughts because we don't talk
- 34:14about our obsessions usually,
- 34:16even though even people without OC
- 34:18D when you ask them anonymously.
- 34:20Do you ever have thoughts like OC D thoughts?
- 34:23Most people say yes, but they don't
- 34:26say them out loud because they feel
- 34:28strange and so a child who has OC D
- 34:31can feel like they're losing their
- 34:33mind or they're very strange or crazy,
- 34:36which makes the whole experience
- 34:38of the disorder that much. Worse,
- 34:40so those are the main anxiety disorders,
- 34:42but it's also important to remember
- 34:44that anxiety itself is not a disease.
- 34:47It's not a disorder were supposed
- 34:49to have anxiety in our lives.
- 34:51You could have two little anxiety in your
- 34:54life, just like you can have too much.
- 34:56In fact, if you have too little anxiety,
- 34:59that's a risk factor as well,
- 35:01because people with significantly low
- 35:03anxiety may get into trouble more because
- 35:06anxiety helps us to stay out of trouble.
- 35:08They may get into accidents,
- 35:10because anxiety helps us to stay away from.
- 35:13Dangers and it's important to remember
- 35:15that at different developmental stages,
- 35:17children are prone to different
- 35:18kinds of fears and anxiety,
- 35:20and some of these are likely to
- 35:22resolve even without treatment.
- 35:24So the first time your child comes
- 35:26into the room and said, I said,
- 35:29I think there's a monster under my bed.
- 35:32You don't necessarily have to give them
- 35:34Prozac or even take them to the Doctor,
- 35:37But.
- 35:37We, the supporters that we were just
- 35:40talking about on the previous slide.
- 35:43Those are anxiety problems that
- 35:45are persistent,
- 35:45will diagnose and anxiety disorder
- 35:47when a child has significantly
- 35:49elevated levels of anxiety over
- 35:51a significant period of time,
- 35:53and it's impairing their function,
- 35:55whether that's their ability to go
- 35:56to school and function academically,
- 35:59whether it's their ability to
- 36:00function socially and interact
- 36:02with peers in our relationships,
- 36:04whether it's the family life that's
- 36:06being impaired by the anxiety problem.
- 36:08Or just their own personal feeling
- 36:11of well being like the child is
- 36:14losing sleep for the child whose
- 36:16appetite is affected or who is just
- 36:19suffering and those anxiety disorders,
- 36:22not just the occasional,
- 36:23sometimes anxiety which is going
- 36:25to be true of every child,
- 36:28but the anxiety disorders are
- 36:30actually extremely common in
- 36:32children and adolescents and adults.
- 36:34They are the most common mental
- 36:37health problem, more common.
- 36:40Other mental health problems.
- 36:41Even then, attention deficit disorder,
- 36:44which is another very commonly diagnosed
- 36:46problem I put on this next slide.
- 36:48Some other problems that are,
- 36:50I think we think of us fairly common
- 36:53phenomena like my child has a cavity
- 36:56that needs to be filled or my child
- 36:59is overweight or needs glasses.
- 37:01These are the anxiety disorders,
- 37:03and so we're talking about
- 37:05extremely common problems.
- 37:06We currently estimate that approximately
- 37:08one in three children's going to have a
- 37:11significant clinical anxiety disorder.
- 37:12At some point,
- 37:14by the time they reached adulthood
- 37:16and those problems are likely to
- 37:19come along with additional ones,
- 37:21because anxiety is often comorbid,
- 37:23meaning it it comes together or
- 37:26Co occurs with other problems
- 37:28like mood disorders like substance
- 37:31disorders in teenagers in particular.
- 37:34Substance abuse can sometimes
- 37:35be a form of self medication
- 37:38for an anxiety problem,
- 37:39consider the child with social
- 37:41anxiety who never has a relaxed,
- 37:43comfortable, fun social interaction
- 37:45because they're always so worried.
- 37:47But then maybe there at some
- 37:49gathering and someone gives them
- 37:51something to smoke and they do.
- 37:54And suddenly there relaxed and they're
- 37:56able to talk and they are able to tell
- 37:59jokes and people even laugh at their jokes.
- 38:02Maybe because they're high.
- 38:04And there enjoying that situation so
- 38:07different from their normal experience
- 38:10that it creates some risk for them to
- 38:13seek out that sensation through use
- 38:15of substances in the future as well.
- 38:20And So what does?
- 38:22Anxiety look like.
- 38:23Let's think about that was understand a
- 38:25little bit more about anxiety problems.
- 38:27But how can we detect this these problems?
- 38:30What does anxiety look like?
- 38:32Well, the truth of the matter is that
- 38:34anxiety can look like a lot of different
- 38:37things you may have in your mind.
- 38:39The mental image of what an
- 38:41anxious child looks like.
- 38:42Maybe they look like they're
- 38:44cowering in the corner and Anne,
- 38:46looking away and averting
- 38:47their gaze and looking scared.
- 38:49And that is true for some anxious children.
- 38:51But anxiety can also look like.
- 38:53Other things it can look like
- 38:56oppositionality the child who is seems
- 38:59to be defiant and not getting along,
- 39:02is often driven by anxiety because
- 39:04they're avoiding the things that
- 39:06make them anxious and trying to
- 39:09oppose anything that's likely
- 39:11to trigger their anxiety.
- 39:13And like perfectionism,
- 39:14rigidity, self criticism,
- 39:15anger so many people forget that
- 39:18anger is a significant part of
- 39:21anxiety and the best way I think too.
- 39:24Not forget that is to think of that
- 39:27simple phrase fight or flight.
- 39:28Everybody knows that freeze fight
- 39:30or flight and yet so often we
- 39:32forget that half of that is fight.
- 39:35And what it means is that anxiety
- 39:37can drive us to avoidance behaviors
- 39:39through feelings of fear.
- 39:41But it can also drive us too aggressive
- 39:43behaviors through feelings of anger
- 39:45and irritability and even rage.
- 39:47This is particularly important
- 39:49for teachers because it's a lot
- 39:51easier to look at the child who
- 39:53looks like your classic, scared,
- 39:55anxious child and think, oh,
- 39:57that must be an anxious child.
- 39:59But when you see.
- 40:00Your child,
- 40:01he seems upset and you come over
- 40:03to them and put a hand on their
- 40:06shoulder and they punch you.
- 40:07It's a lot harder to think.
- 40:09Maybe that's an anxious child,
- 40:11but that anxiety can drive that
- 40:12behavior just like it can drive
- 40:14the avoidance behavior.
- 40:15Not to say that all aggression
- 40:17is anxiety driven.
- 40:18There are other things that can
- 40:20drive aggressive behavior as well,
- 40:22but it is important to consider it.
- 40:25There's a metaphor I like to use to
- 40:27capture a little bit of what it's
- 40:29like to be an anxious child and
- 40:31to live with anxiety as a child,
- 40:33something that I also have some
- 40:35personal first hand experience with,
- 40:36and that is it's a metaphor that
- 40:38actually comes from a period,
- 40:40and by value. Findings in the army.
- 40:42And I don't know if anyone listening on this
- 40:44call was in military or was in the army,
- 40:47but I had training that prepares you for
- 40:49how you should behave if you find yourself
- 40:52in a minefield and have to walk out of it.
- 40:55And the truth of matter is
- 40:56you don't need that training.
- 40:58You just need a little bit of common sense,
- 41:01because if you have any common sense
- 41:03in some sense of self preservation,
- 41:05you're going to walk differently in a
- 41:07minefield from how you walk in other places.
- 41:09And I think the two big differences and
- 41:11how you walk in a minefield capture
- 41:14elements of what it's like to live your
- 41:16life in a minefield as a child with
- 41:18a lot of anxiety who experiences the
- 41:20world like a minefield where things
- 41:22could blow up on them at any moment.
- 41:25One differences.
- 41:25When you're in a minefield,
- 41:27you don't take extra steps.
- 41:28You take us few steps as possible.
- 41:30It's not worth the risk of a step
- 41:32that's not completely necessary.
- 41:34So for example,
- 41:34if I'm at home and I'm in my yard and
- 41:37I see this is rabbit that visits my
- 41:40yard periodically, and if he's there,
- 41:42I might wander over closer to get
- 41:44a closer look 'cause he's sweet,
- 41:45but when I'm in a minefield,
- 41:47if I see a rabbit,
- 41:49I don't wander over closer because
- 41:50it's not worth the risk.
- 41:52I wish the rabbit good luck,
- 41:54and I hope he makes it out.
- 41:56But I don't take the extra steps
- 41:58and think of the child with anxiety
- 42:00and all of the potentially positive
- 42:03experiences that they forgo because
- 42:04of the risk of a potentially
- 42:06catastrophic and negative experience.
- 42:08Like could I go to the school trip?
- 42:11Sure, will I go no,
- 42:12because what if it goes terribly
- 42:14and we get lossed,
- 42:16then we all die or everybody ridicules me,
- 42:18etc.
- 42:19The other thing that is different when
- 42:21you're in a minefield is that you're
- 42:24going to show if you have any brains at all,
- 42:27you're going to show a preference.
- 42:29In fact,
- 42:30I would say a fanatical preference
- 42:32if at all possible,
- 42:33to step where you've already stacked.
- 42:35So if you have to backtrack and walk back
- 42:38'cause you went too far in One Direction,
- 42:40you're going to want to put your feet in
- 42:43the very same place and not somewhere new,
- 42:46because everything you've tried
- 42:47already is tested and safe and
- 42:49everything else is much more dangerous.
- 42:51And again,
- 42:51think of the child with anxiety
- 42:53and the preference that they often
- 42:55show for the familiar for the
- 42:57pattern and the aversion to novelty,
- 42:59and to change because everything new.
- 43:01Feels so much more dangerous.
- 43:07Those are mainly behavioral changes
- 43:09that we see in anxious children
- 43:12will see the avoidance behavior,
- 43:14the pattern and repetition behavior.
- 43:16There are also other changes that occur
- 43:19in a child when they are anxious.
- 43:22Their cognition,
- 43:23meaning their thoughts change.
- 43:24We think differently when we are anxious,
- 43:27we focus on the things that make us anxious
- 43:30at the expense of focusing on other things.
- 43:34And that makes sense,
- 43:35because if you were coping
- 43:37with a real danger,
- 43:38like a truck that's about to hit you,
- 43:40it doesn't make sense to think
- 43:41about other things.
- 43:42It makes sense to push everything
- 43:43else aside and deal with the threat
- 43:45and only go back to the other things
- 43:47after the threat has been dealt with.
- 43:49But when you have an anxiety
- 43:51disorder and you always feel like
- 43:52a truck is about to run you over,
- 43:54it means it's very hard to
- 43:55think about other things.
- 43:56So you may be sitting in class and your
- 43:59teacher wants you to listen to them,
- 44:00but your brain is thinking about what if
- 44:03mom doesn't come to pick me up at the
- 44:05end of the school day and I'm left alone.
- 44:07And that makes it very hard to
- 44:10concentrate on anything else.
- 44:11We also tend to overestimate the
- 44:13likelihood of risks and negative
- 44:15events when we are feeling anxious,
- 44:17our emotions change.
- 44:18We feel fear.
- 44:19We feel anger and it's harder
- 44:21to feel positive emotions like
- 44:22happiness and excitement and
- 44:24interest and enthusiasm and etc.
- 44:26And of course our body changes.
- 44:28We have the short term acute changes
- 44:30like the racing heart etc and we have
- 44:33those longer term changes like the
- 44:35physical pains and sleep and fatigue.
- 44:39So. What do we want to do when we're trying
- 44:43to help a child who is coping with anxiety?
- 44:47What would we want,
- 44:48kids and parents and teachers to know?
- 44:50One thing is important to
- 44:52normalize the problem.
- 44:53To remember that anxiety is a normal
- 44:55phenomenon and that lots of children are
- 44:57struggling with elevated levels of anxiety.
- 45:00We explain anxiety to children as an alarm
- 45:02system that is there to help keep them safe,
- 45:05but that cannot function that
- 45:07can go off for the wrong reason
- 45:09and kids are familiar with this.
- 45:11Often I'll ask a child,
- 45:13have you ever heard a car alarm go
- 45:15off and invariably they say yes,
- 45:17and then I'll ask them,
- 45:18have you ever heard a car alarm go
- 45:21off because the car was being stolen
- 45:23and generally they say no, I haven't.
- 45:25And what does that tell us?
- 45:27It tells us that alarms are not perfect,
- 45:29but sometimes they go off
- 45:31for the wrong reason.
- 45:32And when you hear in alarm,
- 45:34you can't decide whether it's a real alarm
- 45:36or a false alarm based on how loud it's so.
- 45:39The fact that your body is
- 45:41very anxious right now.
- 45:42Doesn't mean that it's a real danger.
- 45:44In order to determine if it's
- 45:46a real alarm or a false alarm,
- 45:48you have to check the reality you have
- 45:50to ask yourself real life questions
- 45:52like he's my car actually being stolen,
- 45:55or if my smoke alarm went off,
- 45:57is there really a fire?
- 45:58Or maybe moms calling something or dance
- 46:01cooking something and made some smoke?
- 46:02We talk about building up anxiety muscles,
- 46:04meaning the need to tolerate anxiety to
- 46:07cope with anxiety and not to avoid it.
- 46:09And we explained to children the
- 46:11anxiety curve, which is the idea.
- 46:13That our anxiety goes up,
- 46:14but it also comes back down.
- 46:16Our body knows how to bring
- 46:18the anxiety back down,
- 46:19but we have to give it a chance to do it.
- 46:23We can't interrupt that process
- 46:25by avoidance because then we'll
- 46:26be anxious again the next time.
- 46:28Whereas if we let that process happen,
- 46:30if we let the anxiety go up without avoiding,
- 46:33but also let it come back down,
- 46:35now will be in a new reality where
- 46:37we haven't avoided and we're still.
- 46:39And we're feeling calm again and that
- 46:42will help us to be less anxious.
- 46:44The next time around.
- 46:47And we teach physical calming skills
- 46:49like muscle relaxation or deep breathing,
- 46:51and there's many scripts you can find
- 46:53online for how to teach deep breathing
- 46:56or how to practice muscle relaxation.
- 46:58And they're all great,
- 47:00and you could just find any one of them,
- 47:03and it will probably be useful for
- 47:06you just taking two minutes of slow,
- 47:08deep breaths is a great way to calm
- 47:11your body down and start turning
- 47:13off that alarm.
- 47:14And we teach cognitive skills like.
- 47:17Challenging your anxious thoughts,
- 47:18we call it stop sometimes.
- 47:20Like for an as an acronym for.
- 47:22Are you feeling scared?
- 47:24What is the thought that you're
- 47:26having and what is an alternative
- 47:28thought that might be a little bit
- 47:30more realistic and then give yourself
- 47:32a high 5 some praise for having
- 47:34challenge your own, your own anxiety.
- 47:36And it's important to think
- 47:38about how we as the adults,
- 47:40whether that is teachers in the classroom
- 47:42or whether that is parents in the home.
- 47:45How we respond to a child's anxiety.
- 47:47And that's a really important component
- 47:50as well, and I would say that our goal,
- 47:53as the caregivers, educators,
- 47:54and the teacher and the parents is to be
- 47:57supportive in response to a child's anxiety.
- 47:59The way to be supportive is to show
- 48:02your child through your words and
- 48:04your actions to show them a message
- 48:06that includes both an acceptance
- 48:08of what the child is experiencing.
- 48:10So don't try to negate it.
- 48:12Don't go with oh, don't worry about it or no,
- 48:16it's not not a big deal.
- 48:18Or just suck it up.
- 48:20Those are messages that are not
- 48:21excepting if the child could choose the,
- 48:24just don't know if I'm there anxiety they
- 48:26would already have made that choice,
- 48:29so show them acceptance by saying
- 48:31words that are accepting like I get it.
- 48:33This is really hard for you.
- 48:35Where I get it, you are genuinely scared.
- 48:38It's difficult but also show them
- 48:40confidence meaning a vote of confidence in
- 48:42their ability to tolerate some anxiety,
- 48:44to be able to survive some anxiety when
- 48:47we put those two magic messages together.
- 48:49Which can be as simple as
- 48:52saying something like.
- 48:53I get that you're really scared now,
- 48:56but I believe you can handle it.
- 48:58That's when we are being supportive.
- 49:01So in summary,
- 49:02these are really common problems.
- 49:04They look very different in different
- 49:07children and facing anxiety rather than
- 49:09avoiding it is a key to overcoming anxiety.
- 49:12We can use coping skills for the
- 49:15mind for the body and through
- 49:17our behavior and as caregivers.
- 49:19We should try to adopt A supportive
- 49:22attitude that shows the child both
- 49:25acceptance and confidence rather than
- 49:27bending over backwards to accommodate
- 49:29the anxious child by ensuring that they
- 49:32don't have to cope or face there fear.
- 49:36So thank you very much.
- 49:47Thank you so much Ellie.
- 49:49I loved your presentation and the way
- 49:51that you explained the science behind
- 49:53what we're all experiencing and what
- 49:55Raina is has been experiencing right now.
- 49:58Perhaps this gives you new insights.
- 50:00Your next step, traffic novel,
- 50:02or perhaps you could illustrate
- 50:04Elyse next presentation?
- 50:05But thank you both so much and we do have.
- 50:09I think we have a little bit of time and
- 50:12we do have some questions coming in,
- 50:15so Sonia Rights in that she has a student
- 50:18where they need to let her know every
- 50:21time there's a fire drill practice happening.
- 50:24She screams when she hears the alarm and
- 50:27the funny wants to know if that's part of.
- 50:31Um, normal anxiety,
- 50:32or perhaps symptomatic of a some
- 50:34sort of disorder and how you would
- 50:37know the difference.
- 50:38So do you want to feel that?
- 50:41Sure,
- 50:41so first of all,
- 50:43that is a description we hear.
- 50:45Commonly there are many
- 50:46children were startled.
- 50:48There's a fire alarm brings together
- 50:50a lot of challenges for for a lot
- 50:53of children it's a loud noise.
- 50:55It's a change in the schedule.
- 50:57It's a surprise,
- 50:59and it is related to the idea of fires.
- 51:02And it means that everybody starts running.
- 51:04You know, getting up and moving
- 51:06in a way that is unusual,
- 51:08and so for a lot of children,
- 51:10one or many of those things are going to
- 51:13trigger anxiety in terms of different.
- 51:15Whether that is a symptom
- 51:17of a bigger problem.
- 51:18What I would say is let's take a look at
- 51:20the child's life alittle more broadly.
- 51:23In other words, if that were the only
- 51:25symptom of anxiety and otherwise,
- 51:27well, it seems fine.
- 51:28It's just the fire alarms then I probably
- 51:31wouldn't consider it an anxiety disorder.
- 51:33But it,
- 51:33but the tools that we're
- 51:35talking about here makes sense.
- 51:36Whether you have an anxiety disorder that
- 51:39we would diagnose a clinical problem or not,
- 51:41even if the child has not a real
- 51:43full blown kind of anxiety disorder,
- 51:45they can still benefit from those tools,
- 51:47and so we can talk with the child
- 51:50about what goes through your
- 51:51mind when the fire alarm goes off
- 51:54under can you take 3 deep breaths
- 51:56when the fire alarm goes off,
- 51:57and things like that,
- 51:59even if it's not a full anxiety problem,
- 52:01I will also take the opportunity to
- 52:03set modem supposed to say this or not,
- 52:06but I'll take the opportunity to say.
- 52:08And here at the child study center
- 52:10we have a very active anxiety
- 52:11disorders program and we provide
- 52:13evaluation and also treatment for
- 52:15children with anxiety problems.
- 52:16In many cases we can even do that
- 52:18at no cost if people participated
- 52:20in research where where it can
- 52:22not be through research,
- 52:24and so if there's a question about
- 52:26a specific child and we're not sure
- 52:28a good a good idea maybe to actually
- 52:30have an assessment meet with somebody
- 52:32who is expert in anxiety problems
- 52:34and they'll be able to tell you.
- 52:36Yes,
- 52:37I think this child needs a little bit more.
- 52:40Or maybe just give parents some
- 52:42suggestions and say Let's check
- 52:43back in next year.
- 52:48OK, and I think there's
- 52:50time for one more question,
- 52:52which is goes to. Both of you.
- 52:55Are you hearing particular outrage from
- 52:57educators about anxiety in relation to
- 53:00the experience of kovid remote learning?
- 53:02The racial justice issues like what?
- 53:04What sort of uptick in outreach
- 53:07to both of you have noted?
- 53:09Have you noticed in how
- 53:12are you responding to it?
- 53:14I'm so Rainha do you want to start
- 53:17with that? I mean,
- 53:19I'm I'm not in the educational field,
- 53:22but I am connected with librarians,
- 53:24teachers, and parents and friends,
- 53:26and my my unusual personal experience
- 53:29was that my anxiety levels went down
- 53:31significantly as soon as lock down started,
- 53:34because suddenly I wasn't
- 53:36worried about germs.
- 53:37I wasn't worried about some of the
- 53:40social phobias and issues that I have,
- 53:43and I've I've heard that.
- 53:45Kids who come fall towards the anxious.
- 53:50By personality types are having a similar
- 53:53experience where they're like it's so much
- 53:55easier for me to learn in this format,
- 53:57and it's easier to not have to be
- 54:00surrounded by people all the time,
- 54:02and so a combination of remote learning,
- 54:04video learning.
- 54:05You know self directed
- 54:06learning really works for them,
- 54:08so then it just it just leaves the
- 54:10question of like what comes next
- 54:12and what does next year look like?
- 54:14What is next?
- 54:15The next five years look like?
- 54:17Should they consider
- 54:18homeschooling their kids?
- 54:19Should they you know,
- 54:21look into alternative?
- 54:22Schools like I again like
- 54:23since I'm not a parent,
- 54:25I don't have to deal with
- 54:26this on the day today,
- 54:28but I've been listening and learning
- 54:30from a lot of the conversations and I
- 54:32can't help but think what kind of kid
- 54:34would I have been like during this?
- 54:36I think I would have been the same
- 54:39as I am now, which is such a relief.
- 54:41I'm really tired of being around
- 54:43my family all the time,
- 54:44but I really like not having.
- 54:48Yeah,
- 54:48so I think that that transition is
- 54:50going to be tough for a lot of a lot of kids.
- 54:55Ellie
- 54:58Raiders experience is not all
- 54:59that a typical there there.
- 55:01There are a lot of.
- 55:02There are a lot of children who
- 55:04are experiencing elevated anxiety.
- 55:05Now they're worried about their families.
- 55:07They worried about their health.
- 55:08They're worried about.
- 55:11What is next year gonna look like?
- 55:13They may know somebody directly
- 55:15affected by this pandemic and
- 55:17that can trigger a lot of anxiety
- 55:19or likewise around the issues of
- 55:21social justice protests that are
- 55:22happening and things relating to that.
- 55:24There are a lot of children are
- 55:26experiencing elevated anxiety,
- 55:28but it is also true that there
- 55:30is a lot of children for who the
- 55:33real impact of this pandemic is
- 55:35going to manifest when they are
- 55:37asked to resume normal life.
- 55:39If you're a child with separation anxiety,
- 55:41this might have been the best period.
- 55:43Because very little separation were
- 55:45all at home. You have social anxiety.
- 55:47You may not have had to cope
- 55:49with the social interactions that
- 55:51you usually have to cope with,
- 55:53but we're going to be asking.
- 55:55Children were starting already to
- 55:57ask children through an increasingly
- 55:59will be asking children to pick back
- 56:01up all those functional challenges
- 56:02and a lot of children are going to
- 56:05manifest the anxiety at that point,
- 56:06which is why it's important even during
- 56:08social distancing and social isolation,
- 56:10not to let it be a vacuum
- 56:12of challenge and coping.
- 56:14But to do your best to ensure
- 56:16that there are still functional
- 56:17expectations that we get up in the
- 56:19morning and we are productive that
- 56:21we do interact with other people,
- 56:23even if it is on zoom.
- 56:25And to the extent that is possible
- 56:27and safe in other ways also,
- 56:29even that there is separation from parents.
- 56:31Maybe you have to be in the same house.
- 56:34Don't be in the same room all the
- 56:36time because it's important that this
- 56:37not be this sort of black hole of
- 56:40functioning and then suddenly asks
- 56:42children to be right back in normal mode.
- 56:47Thank you, that's best.
- 56:48Sounds like really concrete,
- 56:50good advice and I wanna let
- 56:52our audience know that they can
- 56:54contact us with more questions.
- 56:56We're getting some questions
- 56:57in the chat box that are very
- 57:00specific to people's children.
- 57:01This is really resonating and
- 57:03we do have a help desk feature
- 57:05on the collaborative's website,
- 57:07which I'll post in the chat box.
- 57:10And if you send your questions,
- 57:12people like Ellie will get back to you so.
- 57:17Good luck to everyone.
- 57:18Thank you to our panelists and we're
- 57:20going to take a little break and
- 57:22come back with a panel as educators
- 57:25talking about resuming school during kovit.
- 57:27So thank you everyone.
- 57:29Thank you.