In part one of a conversation with Aakash Chowkase, PhD, he explored character as a personal mosaic of virtues shaped by culture, experience, and moral values. How is character different from personality? The term “character” and “personality” are often interchangeably, but is this correct?
In part two of this Q&A series, Chowkase discusses the difference between personality and character, and how emotional intelligence plays a role.
What is the difference between character and personality?
Personality is who we are right now, while character is about who we aspire to be or who we can become over time. Personality reflects our usual tendencies, how we show up on a typical day. Character shows up on difficult days or in challenging situations. For example, being kind to a colleague when you’re frustrated is a test of character, even if you’re generally a kind person. Not stealing when no one is watching is another test of character.
Psychologists use five broad traits to describe personality: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism (sometimes called negative emotionality). This is commonly referred to as the OCEAN model or the Big Five Personality Traits. Unlike character, personality is about how we think, feel, and behave most of the time—without necessarily involving moral principles or ethical considerations.
Character is dynamic and something we work toward—a goal to pursue. It's about leveraging personality, intellect, and motivation to act ethically, wisely, and with personal integrity. In addition to being a personal aspiration, character can be a societal aspiration for the greater good as well, for example, the pursuit of equity, justice, and harmony.
How does emotional intelligence help build character?
The foundation of character is self-awareness, because character is about human possibility. We can develop character when we start seeing it as a goalpost, something to strive toward. We can become more virtuous.
Consider an individual with an internal dialogue that looks like this:
"I think I’m not very disciplined at times. I can be more disciplined."
This reflection is possible because of self-awareness.
Self-awareness comes from emotional awareness, and emotions play a significant role in our lives. They shape attention, memory, learning, performance, decision making, well-being, and relationships with others.
Without understanding emotions—of ourselves and others—we can’t begin to work on our character. It is challenging to imagine a person with high character who lacks emotional intelligence.
Does building emotional intelligence (EI) automatically lead to good character?
Imagine a role model or leader you admire. Do you picture them as someone who easily loses their temper, or as someone who remains composed under pressure?
Now, think about someone who stays calm in difficult situations. Do you automatically assume they’re a good person at heart?
Building emotional intelligence is a key step in developing good character, but it’s not the whole story. Although emotional intelligence helps us understand and manage our emotions, it’s just one piece of the puzzle.
Developing high character requires more than just managing emotions—it’s about aligning our actions with our values.
The definition of emotional intelligence, according to Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, is the ability to navigate our own and others’ emotions to achieve meaningful goals. It involves the skills of recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions. The first three skills form the foundation for the more complex skills of expressing and regulating emotions.
Why would we not let ourselves react freely in any given emotional state?
The answer lies in the aspiration to be your best self. Emotion regulation helps us act in ways that reflect the kind of person we want to be. It's about choosing emotional responses that align with our deeper values, even in complex social interactions.
While emotional intelligence is crucial for personal development and improving our personal life, it’s not enough on its own to build good character. Emotional intelligence sets the stage, but developing character requires ongoing effort and conscious decision-making.