Dear Residency Community,
After deep contemplation and a pint or two of Murphy’s, I am hereby announcing my intent to become a shepherd, starting tomorrow, April 1.
You may be asking, why a shepherd? Why not a cattle rancher, hog farmer, or goatherd? It’s because I’m following my gut, and I love the scenery.
It’s the right time for me to pursue animal husbandry. We had a great Match, the Chiefs and APDs are upgrading the residency while I tour Ireland, and the Easter Bunny came this morning. As a great sage once asked, “If not now, when?”
My erstwhile career taught me how to herd. As a MICU Director, I learned the difference between Staph, housestaff, and a shepherd’s staff, and as a program director, I spent countless nights counting sheep. And, of course, my mother’s maiden name was Wool.*
So, good-bye medicine, hello lamb chops. To our new interns, I’m sorry I didn’t mention my plans when you interviewed, but as you will learn, residency teaches you to expect the unexpected.
If you have questions, concerns, or sweater orders, please contact my assistant, Mr. O’Vine:
Happy Easter! We’re having dinner tonight at Longueville House, where I plan to break the news to Heide and Francesca.
Baa Baa,
Mark
*This is true.