Hi Everyone,
The hacking began after an innocent sniffle in November. Then came the dry spasms, aborted sentences, and deep sighs to relax. I chugged Delsym, quadrupled my Nasacort, and sipped tea, but the cough continued.
Heide deemed it ridiculous for a pulmonologist to cough so much, and in clinic, I prescribed the very inhalers I needed myself.
The diagnosis should have been clear. As a child, I spent summer nights propped up on pillows, wheezing, as my father distracted me with tales of the old Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants. As a teenager, I endured arterial sticks, Adrenaline shots, and a hospitalization. I gulped air while climbing hills and sat on the sidelines during basketball.
In adulthood, the asthma subsided, mostly. Each May and June I had itchy eyes and a runny nose, but the wheezing was rare and easily managed with a couple of puffs from my daughter’s inhaler. I picked up her prescriptions at Walgreen’s, smugly satisfied that I’d left a nuisance behind.
We doctors have a magical tendency to ignore our wellbeing. Maybe that’s how we endure 80-hour workweeks; physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion; and endless demands on our attention. Maybe that’s how we rationalize nights, weekends, and holidays away from our families, especially this time of year. The dedication that steers us to help others makes it easy to neglect ourselves unless someone steers us back.
At our annual feedback meetings, I always ask if you’re eating, sleeping, exercising, and socializing. Few of you say yes to all four, at least not convincingly. I’m no better, which is the point of today’s note.
Last week, I finally messaged my doctor, who prescribed an inhaler. The cough is better, and I can finish most of my sentences without trailing off or pausing to inhale. The gray canister above the bathroom sink reminds me twice a day of the hole I’d fallen into.
I take no credit for digging myself out. It was Soumya bringing me a cup of water because I was sputtering at Report. It was Heide pulling out the cough syrup before we sat down to dinner. And it was the futility of trying to suppress my cough in clinic, and concerned looks from my patients, that pushed me to seek help.
Where would we be without friends and family? It’s a gift to have people in our lives who care enough about us to ensure we care for ourselves.
Enjoy your Sunday, everyone. This afternoon, I’ll be driving to New Jersey to have dinner with my mom and twin brother.
Mark
P.S. What I’m reading and listening to:
- A Broken System Is No Excuse By Travis N. Rieder
- Sorry, but This Is the Future of Food By Michael Grunwald
- The Health-Care System Isn’t Hopeless By Annie Lowrey
- Why American Health Care Is a "Broken System" on Plain English with Derek Thompson
- The Virtuous Circle of a Happy Personality By Arthur C. Brooks
P.P.S. Thank you to the Wellness Committee (Wayne, Korynne, Zoe, and Eman) for hosting last night’s Ugly Sweater Party at Gryphon’s Pub. Thank you to my fellow judges, Drs. Tarabar, Ong, and Savage, for helping with the impossible task of picking a winner, and congratulations to Marc and Julia (3rd Place), Korynne (2nd Place), and Bianca (1st Place) for prevailing over the competition!