Program for Humanities in Medicine Health Professions Creative Writing and Art Contest 2023 Awards Ceremony

Transcript

• 00:00Welcome to the
• 00:0522 2022-2023 program for Humanities
• 00:08in Medicine, Health profession,
• 00:10student Creative writing in our contest.
• 00:13My name is Anna Reisman.
• 00:14I am the director of the Program for
• 00:16Humanities in Medicine and really,
• 00:18really happy to be mostly in person with
• 00:21a few people still on Zoom this year.
• 00:23But it's been it's been quite a
• 00:25few years now, so this is great.
• 00:29The This contest has been around
• 00:31for more than two decades,
• 00:33thanks to the Rush Lerner family.
• 00:35They funded the original
• 00:37iteration of this contest,
• 00:38which is called the Marguerite Rush Lerner
• 00:41Medical Student Creative Writing Contest,
• 00:43and it provided awards in poetry
• 00:45and prose just to medical students.
• 00:47Doctor Marguerite Rush Lerner was a member
• 00:49of the Yale Dermatology Department and the
• 00:52first woman chief of Yale Health Services,
• 00:55Durham Clinic.
• 00:56And she also offered several children's books
• 00:59centered around public health and diversity.
• 01:01Two of her four sons are graduates
• 01:03of Yale School of Medicine,
• 01:05and this award is established
• 01:07in honor by her family.
• 01:09In the last few years,
• 01:10we've expanded the contest to include art.
• 01:14As you could see,
• 01:15some of our art and those on Zoom will
• 01:17show it will show it a little bit later.
• 01:19And we've also opened it up to all health
• 01:21profession students here at Yale, so.
• 01:23Not just medical students,
• 01:25but Papa,
• 01:26online nurse practitioner and
• 01:28public health students as well.
• 01:31This year I believe we received close
• 01:33to 80 yes submissions between all
• 01:36of the three categories and medical
• 01:39student winners will receive the
• 01:40Rush Lerner Prize and student winners
• 01:42from the other health profession.
• 01:44Schools will receive a program
• 01:46for Humanities Medicine prize.
• 01:47Same thing, different name.
• 01:50I want to just call out our wonderful
• 01:52judges who generously read and viewed and
• 01:55commented on all of the submissions in art.
• 01:58And I think only one of
• 01:59them is here in person.
• 02:00Terry Degraddy.
• 02:02Thanks,
• 02:03Terry.
• 02:06So the other art judges were Muffy
• 02:08and their gas Joe and Wilcox,
• 02:09Kenneth Morford and Melissa Graff.
• 02:12Our pros judges were Randy Epstein,
• 02:14Lisa Sanders, Vincent Quaglirello,
• 02:17Lawrence Gutterman and Rosanna.
• 02:19Gonzalez Colosso and poetry
• 02:21judges of a black Sharon Ostwell,
• 02:24Johns Sarah Cross, Nora Cigar,
• 02:26and Beth Marhofer.
• 02:27So thank you to all of the judges,
• 02:30but really thank you to all the
• 02:31students here who are winners,
• 02:33and also to all the students who did not win.
• 02:36But you submitted such fine work and
• 02:38really led to a lot of great competition
• 02:41and discussion among the judges.
• 02:43Thank you to Karen Cole,
• 02:44who does all the behind the scenes
• 02:46work with a contest and thanks to
• 02:49everybody for joining tonight.
• 02:50So, OK, so the presentations are going to,
• 02:56I've kind of ordered them so they're
• 02:58kind of going between poetry,
• 02:59prose and art.
• 03:00And each winner will come up
• 03:01and tell you a little bit about
• 03:03their piece of art if they're not
• 03:04winner or they'll read a selection
• 03:06from their prose or poetry.
• 03:10And so first, I want to welcome
• 03:12up Matthew Ponticello, my five
• 03:14friends And me is the name of his
• 03:17poetry piece that won first prize.
• 03:28One second. Sorry.
• 03:34Hi, I'm Matt. So I will just
• 03:37read my fit my poem, which is
• 03:39called My Five Friends and Me,
• 03:42Dysthymia, Dysmorphia,
• 03:44Bulimia, Anxiety, and OCDI.
• 03:46Put each one of them on a fingertip
• 03:48and hold my hand up to the light
• 03:50and they kind of look like you.
• 03:51I feel like I first met Dysthymia
• 03:53in elementary school when I
• 03:54learned the days of the week.
• 03:56I remember hearing the days of the
• 03:57week and wondering who thought
• 03:58it would be a good idea to only
• 03:59make the weekend two of them.
• 04:00I remember thinking to myself,
• 04:02why are there more bad days than good?
• 04:04Why are there more bad days than good?
• 04:06Why are there more bad days than good?
• 04:08Why are there more bad days than good?
• 04:09Is this what they're calling
• 04:11dysthymia Dysmorphia is the way
• 04:13I play with the fat on my sides,
• 04:15the way I run my hands over my stomach
• 04:1710 No 20 No 30 No 40 times a day?
• 04:19Actually, if I'm being honest,
• 04:21I've never actually counted,
• 04:22because counting would probably
• 04:23just make it worse.
• 04:24Dysmorphia is the way I run my hands
• 04:26over my hips and stomach before bed.
• 04:28Sometimes I pretend to spoon myself,
• 04:30wondering what the fat feels like
• 04:31to someone I'm sleeping with.
• 04:33If it wasn't obvious, I'm the big spoon.
• 04:35That way I don't have to think
• 04:36about the other person thinking
• 04:38about the fat all over my body.
• 04:39Bulimia is for the weak,
• 04:41those two weak to stop eating altogether and
• 04:43who decide purging is the next best thing.
• 04:45Bulimia is shoving my hands down my throat,
• 04:47trying to catch the food
• 04:48before it falls to my stomach.
• 04:50Bulimia is also hating myself,
• 04:51wondering why I didn't have the strength,
• 04:53just not eat in the first place.
• 04:55Bulimia is also running 8 miles a day
• 04:57and having people commend you for it.
• 04:58Or having people tell you that
• 05:00you're a success story of a fat,
• 05:01depressed kid who's now skinny
• 05:03and successful.
• 05:04Did you hear that We are a success story?
• 05:06The anxiety is a bit more complicated.
• 05:09Anxiety is taking a test,
• 05:10or taking my shirt off during sex,
• 05:12or taking five shots at a party,
• 05:14or seeing you in the library,
• 05:15or thinking about seeing you in the library,
• 05:17or having your friends
• 05:18over and hyperventilating,
• 05:19thinking about the fact that they
• 05:20might just say your name aloud.
• 05:22Yeah, the anxiety is a bit more complicated.
• 05:25The OCD is the way I talk to myself
• 05:26or the way I grab my friend's arms.
• 05:28I'm really lucky.
• 05:29I have good friends that don't question it.
• 05:31I try to interrupt these anxious
• 05:33thoughts that are mostly about
• 05:34you with words or gestures.
• 05:36It feels like my body is running in
• 05:37circles trying to put out these tiny fires,
• 05:39but every time we get to 1,
• 05:40another pops up right behind me.
• 05:42I try exposure therapy, though.
• 05:44So for me,
• 05:45OCD is thinking the same thought twice.
• 05:47Once for my body, the second time for me.
• 05:50And the second time is always more painful.
• 05:52I shudder and breathe and pray
• 05:53that if I do
• 05:53this enough times, I will be habituated
• 05:55to the pain and it will stop.
• 05:57So far the pain hasn't stopped.
• 06:00I've heard them say that two is
• 06:01company and three is a party,
• 06:02but what about my five friends and me?
• 06:04Or is it 6? Hard to tell if I count
• 06:06as my own person in all of this.
• 06:08I'm not sure if it's a party per se,
• 06:09but we're all talking over
• 06:11each other as if it is one.
• 06:12And if we feel we're not heard,
• 06:14we get even louder to make sure
• 06:15we are heard over everyone.
• 06:16I think I need to try having a
• 06:18conversation with each of them.
• 06:20Ask them what brought them here.
• 06:21I wonder if I've made them
• 06:23feel neglected or maybe they're
• 06:24trying to teach me something.
• 06:25I'm not sure yet,
• 06:26but I'll ask them and get back to you.
• 06:28In the meantime,
• 06:29I want you to think about this.
• 06:31When I said they look like you in the light,
• 06:32I meant in two ways.
• 06:34The first being, yeah,
• 06:34you have a **** ton of these tendencies.
• 06:37The second being,
• 06:38what did you do to make me like this too?
• 06:40Thank you.
• 06:53Thank you, Matthew.
• 06:54That was wonderful and okay.
• 07:07So our next student to be featured is
• 07:13Grace Grace Wong who created the small.
• 07:18So you are those here are welcome to get up
• 07:21and look at it when she's talking about it.
• 07:23She won first prize. The first prize,
• 07:26Rush Lerner for the anatomy Garden. Grace.
• 07:37Hi, I'm Grace. I'm one of
• 07:38the second year Med students.
• 07:39We got to just get it up here. So.
• 08:04So I created this piece a couple
• 08:06of months into my clerkship year,
• 08:09started in January,
• 08:10and my first block was surgery,
• 08:12and it was definitely a challenging 3 months,
• 08:14but I gained a lot of appreciation
• 08:17for just the beauty of human
• 08:19anatomy in those months.
• 08:19And so I guess on a very literal sense,
• 08:22I wanted to capture
• 08:24some of that in my painting.
• 08:26When I was sitting down to plan this piece,
• 08:28I was also reflecting a lot
• 08:30about change and growth,
• 08:32which can be really beautiful parts of life.
• 08:35But there were things happening in my
• 08:37own life that were kind of prompted
• 08:39me to reflect on how sometimes
• 08:41these processes can be challenging,
• 08:43especially when things outside of our
• 08:45control lead to a lot of change in our lives.
• 08:48And then we're forced to.
• 08:49Grow with those changes and personally
• 08:52I find a lot of inspiration from
• 08:54being in nature and observing nature,
• 08:56which is always in a state of dynamic growth.
• 08:58So hard to explain in words,
• 09:01but hopefully you can see how some
• 09:02of those reflections are incorporated
• 09:05into this piece.
• 09:07Painting has always been really
• 09:08important to me and so I feel very
• 09:10lucky to get to share this with you all.
• 09:12So thanks for being here.
• 09:31All right. Thank you so much.
• 09:32Grace Okay. Our next student
• 09:35to be featured is Anna Preston,
• 09:40MD student, and she won first
• 09:43place in the poetry category,
• 09:46as well as an honorable mention.
• 09:48And she will be reading both poems.
• 10:02Hi everyone. Thanks so much for being here.
• 10:04I have two short poems today.
• 10:05The 1st is called Birth.
• 10:10It is hard to wrap in
• 10:12numbers the thing they call a miracle
• 10:15as it bleeds through the belly of
• 10:16a name that could be anyone's.
• 10:19We trust our witness
• 10:20sufficient to make us experts
• 10:22in something we have never felt.
• 10:24They trust it too.
• 10:25What choice do they have,
• 10:27alone or surrounded?
• 10:28Eyes bright or heavy,
• 10:30they come, their past effaced.
• 10:33All is now a snip, a scream and exhale,
• 10:38a body broken and new.
• 10:41It is a miracle. It is a Tuesday.
• 10:44It is every hour.
• 10:46It is once in a lifetime.
• 10:48It is sometimes not at all,
• 10:50the moment all of our light began.
• 10:56And the second poem is called
• 10:58A Letter to a Younger Universe.
• 11:02My dear, I know how it feels,
• 11:05as though your body is too small to
• 11:07contain the exploding stars within you,
• 11:09your heart grossly insufficient to drive
• 11:11its blood to your outermost galaxies.
• 11:14It feels like it will take forever
• 11:16to get there, wherever there is.
• 11:19But you're growing at the speed of light,
• 11:21new elements forming moment by
• 11:23moment in the Crucible of your soul.
• 11:26I have felt the white hot light you keep
• 11:28at your center, blinding and fiery,
• 11:30which you are equally terrified
• 11:33to hold and to lose.
• 11:34Yes, I know, it haunts you,
• 11:36The inevitable tumble towards heat,
• 11:37death, every atom spinning out a flare.
• 11:40You cannot recover, but you see,
• 11:43you don't need to be afraid,
• 11:44of growing old,
• 11:46of slowing down the creatures that breathe
• 11:49and walk in my hair and through my fingers,
• 11:52the flowers that bloom.
• 11:54Some things you need to
• 11:56slow down for them to grow.
• 11:57Life is fragile and cannot withstand
• 12:00the blinding heat you are now.
• 12:02And though you may be a moment closer
• 12:03to the stillness that you fear,
• 12:05you may not find it to be an
• 12:07entirely undesirable thing.
• 12:09Because right now, my dear,
• 12:11you cannot even imagine the color green,
• 12:14and I cannot begin to describe it.
• 12:16You must see it for yourself.
• 12:18Thank you.
• 12:33You so much Anna Okay.
• 12:35Our next reader will be Hannah May
• 12:411st place First place Prose Winner
• 12:43and she will be reading her piece
• 12:46called The Donor and Daycare and she
• 12:48also had a piece awarded an honorable
• 12:50mention in prose called North Country.
• 13:03Thank you. When
• 13:05I drop my daughter off at daycare in
• 13:07the morning, dressed in blue scrubs,
• 13:09I must look like I'm I'm on
• 13:11my way to save a few lives.
• 13:12At the nearby hospital,
• 13:14I waved bye bye to the babies and teachers,
• 13:16smiling as I go.
• 13:18A few hours later, I'm up to my elbows,
• 13:20digging around in a cold, dead body.
• 13:22This is anatomy.
• 13:23I take the scalpel or the scissors
• 13:25and slice through some skin,
• 13:27some connective tissue.
• 13:28But often it is easier to just
• 13:30take my hand and blunt, dissect.
• 13:33My gloves become slick with fluid,
• 13:35so much so that I have to change
• 13:37the midway through the lab.
• 13:38I cut and pick off that
• 13:40hair Things on my way,
• 13:41throw them in the bowl.
• 13:43The air is thick with the
• 13:45smell of formaldehyde,
• 13:45and in the background there
• 13:47is the sound of the saw.
• 13:49My team and I joke around.
• 13:50Listen to reggae tone Pause to
• 13:52compare the pretty illustrations
• 13:53on the computer to the colorless
• 13:55structures in front of us.
• 13:57This must be the superior
• 13:59mesoteric artery My friend says
• 14:01it can't be and my other teammate
• 14:02says and they go back and
• 14:03forth for the next couple minutes.
• 14:06When our time is up, we cover Bob,
• 14:08our anatomy donor, in a thin sheet,
• 14:10then a body bag, and then close
• 14:11the metal table covers over him,
• 14:13which never failed to make a harsh
• 14:16loud noise as they bang together.
• 14:18In the lab, I wash my hands and forearms
• 14:21like I'm scrubbing into a surgery,
• 14:23rinse my hands a couple more times in the
• 14:25bathroom before I leave the building,
• 14:26and then sanitize my hands
• 14:28in the car for good measure.
• 14:30At home, I throw my scrubs in the laundry and
• 14:32jump in the shower as quickly as possible.
• 14:34Everything else can wait.
• 14:35I've got to get the dead off of me.
• 14:38Only after this ritualistic
• 14:40cleaning can I pick up my daughter.
• 14:42When the daycare director asks
• 14:43How is your day? I think.
• 14:45What would she say if she
• 14:47knew what I had done today?
• 14:48Here there are bright colors and
• 14:50sweet baby smells and cute voices.
• 14:52I hug my daughter close to me
• 14:54and she is warm, tiny, alive.
• 14:56She's nothing like Bob.
• 14:58She cries when I try to wipe her nose
• 15:00and smiles when I give her a kiss.
• 15:02But of course she is like Bob.
• 15:04She has the same organs.
• 15:06Somewhere in her compact body there's
• 15:08there's a superior musenteric artery.
• 15:10My daughter's pediatrician has
• 15:12said babies are fun because you can
• 15:14feel everything in their abdomens.
• 15:16I had even tried myself after
• 15:17the appointment,
• 15:18pushing on my daughter's belly,
• 15:19feeling for her intestines,
• 15:21but I just made her laugh one time.
• 15:24I didn't have the chance to
• 15:25shower or change between anatomy
• 15:27lab and daycare pickup,
• 15:28and I felt like I contaminated everything
• 15:30and everyone in the daycare center.
• 15:32Several months before,
• 15:33my friend told me she had to reschedule a
• 15:36date with my daughter and me because she
• 15:38had to go to a funeral earlier that day.
• 15:40I don't want to visit a baby
• 15:41the same day I'm at a cemetery,
• 15:43you know, she said.
• 15:44I did know, but there I was,
• 15:47crossing that line.
• 15:48I didn't want the babies to
• 15:49come close to my shoes,
• 15:50which had perhaps caught a
• 15:52drop of fluid from the lab.
• 15:54Because in truth,
• 15:55the harsher thought is that
• 15:56Bob was like my daughter once,
• 15:58this old person whose face I
• 16:00like to keep covered,
• 16:01whose tissue I pride apart,
• 16:03whose heart I had cut out of his body,
• 16:05was born a baby, had grown up into a boy,
• 16:07became a man who likely had
• 16:09children of his own.
• 16:11It's easier to keep the two separated,
• 16:13old, young,
• 16:13alive, dead.
• 16:14But sometimes there's no
• 16:15option but to span that bridge.
• 16:18Thank you
• 16:36Okay. And our next presenter
• 16:39is Brooks Lightner.
• 16:42And Brooks One Second Fries in Art.
• 16:44And this piece is called Intensive Care,
• 16:47and you can see it over
• 16:48there or on the screen.
• 16:56Thanks everybody for coming and thanks
• 16:59a lot to the organizers for having
• 17:01us so my piece is called intensive
• 17:04care and so I just wrote something
• 17:06small so I don't just Ramble.
• 17:09Modern medicine has enabled us to
• 17:11prolong life, and prevent mortality
• 17:13in settings of extreme illness.
• 17:15As I observe patients in the surgical
• 17:17and medical intensive care units
• 17:19during my 3rd year clerkships.
• 17:21I saw medicines machines lines.
• 17:24And more that took over every
• 17:27critical bodily function of our
• 17:29patients with the goal of supporting
• 17:31the ability to treat the underlying
• 17:33causes like infections, trauma.
• 17:35And as I looked at these patients hooked
• 17:37up to these machines in the settings
• 17:39of intensive care, I had many thoughts.
• 17:41Will they ever return to the same
• 17:44quality of life they had before this?
• 17:46Are these machines truly temporary
• 17:49extensions of human Physiology?
• 17:51Like many patients families,
• 17:52I thought, how much does all this cost?
• 17:56As I worked on intensive care,
• 17:57I wanted to depict the interconnectedness
• 17:59of all of our organs,
• 18:01but also the extension of the
• 18:03vessels that connect our organs
• 18:05to intricate machinery.
• 18:06Ultimately,
• 18:07I found myself truly envisioning
• 18:09the lines blurring between natural
• 18:11and artificial human Physiology.
• 18:13I hope that this portrayal of
• 18:15intensive care evokes similar
• 18:16feelings that I had of awe,
• 18:17uncertainty,
• 18:18and even uneasiness.
• 18:20When I was helping perform
• 18:22neurological exams on my neurology
• 18:24consult service in the ICU.
• 18:27Thanks.
• 18:47Hey, thank you, Brooks.
• 18:49And our next reader will be Ryan Sutherland.
• 18:54And Ryan will be reading three poems.
• 18:58He won second place in the poetry.
• 19:01Competition.
• 19:02And two of his other poems
• 19:03awarded honorable mentions memory,
• 19:05Rain, and mortality.
• 19:12So I have a thing about fruit.
• 19:14I think it's because I'm from Florida,
• 19:15so tropical fruit, just like,
• 19:17comes into my poems a lot.
• 19:19I also read a lot of like.
• 19:23Well, have you read the poem Persimmons
• 19:25by Lee Young Lee and stuff like that?
• 19:27I I went through a persimmons
• 19:29phase and really enjoyed that poem,
• 19:30so check it out if you didn't get a chance.
• 19:32But anyway, this one's called Memory.
• 19:35It's about that time the mangoes ripen.
• 19:39The memory is faded.
• 19:40I cut my hands in the shape to
• 19:42try and remember the flesh,
• 19:44the taste, the taste,
• 19:46the flesh to try and remember I cut my hands.
• 19:51When I to remember your shape,
• 19:53when the flesh has been eaten,
• 19:54the memory ripens.
• 19:55When only the pit remains, I think about you.
• 19:59So that was memory.
• 20:02And then rain.
• 20:03I was just sort of like,
• 20:04I think I was like in England and
• 20:07honestly like that country is just
• 20:09like completely all all the time.
• 20:11It just was like nonstop.
• 20:13And I think I didn't leave the
• 20:14the my apartment for like days.
• 20:16And
• 20:16I was like, you know what, I'm just going
• 20:17to write a poem about rain and think
• 20:18about it, you know, some way, but.
• 20:22Rain shimmering,
• 20:24cloudbursts plummeting to earth.
• 20:27Wind tossed each a divine revelation
• 20:30spilling from distant sky fountains.
• 20:33See them, see them,
• 20:35see them spinning through endless blueness.
• 20:39So many. The universe is just one big
• 20:42******* soap opera. Can you believe it?
• 20:44Just yesterday I was mouth egaping,
• 20:47yawning into thunderous Infinity,
• 20:48when a humble, wet piece of heaven
• 20:51struck me square on the cheek.
• 20:53Sky kissed, I thought,
• 20:56marveling and melancholic,
• 20:58wondering why the rain makes us feel so sad?
• 21:01Are we sad because it falls from the sky?
• 21:04Each drop the cloud? Orphan.
• 21:06Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.
• 21:09Alone. Or because it's swarms it,
• 21:12Or because it's swarming orbs glide
• 21:14into our eyes like summer flies?
• 21:15Nostalgia.
• 21:17Or do its beads remind us of their
• 21:20salty cousins who sometimes visit
• 21:22our cheeks after heartbreak?
• 21:23Or skinned knees,
• 21:25gentle pairs that outline each
• 21:27constellation of our being before cresting
• 21:30on our nose tips and tumbling into oblivion.
• 21:33Or because seeing anything fall so far,
• 21:35a piece of heaven falling to earth,
• 21:37makes us think of tumbling Icarus,
• 21:39sunburnt and screaming,
• 21:40stupid because his dreams were too grand,
• 21:44too ambitious.
• 21:46But perhaps we are sad because
• 21:48the rain reminds us of ourselves.
• 21:50Fragile, sentient specks on a single space,
• 21:53Pearl thrown irreverently,
• 21:55bang across an acre,
• 21:58skies colliding, dividing.
• 22:00Life battered, current suede,
• 22:02sometimes alone.
• 22:03Sometimes oceans get all effaced from
• 22:07the same wet womb called universe.
• 22:09Say her name. Say her name.
• 22:11Louder.
• 22:12Louder perhaps.
• 22:12It's drops remind us of our aqueous
• 22:15beginnings as tiny threads of star tinsel
• 22:18floating ******* merging in an amniotic void.
• 22:22**** through time becoming
• 22:24from nothing to something,
• 22:26some things, someone, someone's.
• 22:29Because down to earth,
• 22:31like crystal moths or ticker tape,
• 22:34rain must have mixed with moon
• 22:36dust to make us millennia ago,
• 22:38so long ago, so long ago.
• 22:40Fish kin, sky brethren,
• 22:43waterborne.
• 22:46The last one is a little bit fun,
• 22:49but it's it's called mortality.
• 22:52Unmute this. Let's see,
• 22:53should I mute that There.
• 23:05Again. OK, perfect.
• 23:08So this one I I was thinking about
• 23:09like a Billy Collins poem after it
• 23:10when I was reading writing this one,
• 23:13but also thinking about getting older.
• 23:15I I just turned 29.
• 23:16So you know it's part of
• 23:17the part of the package,
• 23:19but it's called mortality.
• 23:23I got an advertisement
• 23:24today in the mail for
• 23:27preplanning my own cremation.
• 23:29It said there was a free lunch at
• 23:31a fancy restaurant to convince
• 23:33me to think about my demise.
• 23:35I hadn't eaten yet downtown where
• 23:38anyone could hear about the benefits
• 23:40of planning their own cremation,
• 23:41an affordable option to become dust.
• 23:44I think I might go and plan my own
• 23:46cremation and see what is at the buffet.
• 23:48Life is sometimes long,
• 23:50but sometimes it is short,
• 23:53and it seems like a good thing to
• 23:54do to think of what comes next.
• 23:56Combustion. I hope there is a salad bar.
• 23:59I wonder what heaven looks like.
• 24:27Okay. Thank you Ryan.
• 24:32You forgot your yeah, these are
• 24:34your this this big pile is yours.
• 24:40Okay. So Next up is Mary Pang,
• 24:443rd place art winner.
• 24:45And this is called Art and Vision.
• 24:56Hi, my name is Mary Pay and I'm a second year
• 24:58MPH Master of Public Health student
• 25:00in the Department of Social and
• 25:03Behavioral Sciences. So yeah,
• 25:04thank you so much for having me here.
• 25:05So these pieces, they are.
• 25:08So they come from a study that I
• 25:10created last year where basically I
• 25:12interviewed and surveyed patients
• 25:14with experiences of hallucinations
• 25:16and mental health conditions.
• 25:17And I just asked them to describe
• 25:19their experiences, hallucination.
• 25:21And I used my graphic design software
• 25:22to recreate experiences to help
• 25:24them explore and express, I guess,
• 25:27their mental health conditions as well
• 25:29as their, I guess, past experiences.
• 25:31And I don't want to take away the agency
• 25:34of the people whose experiences these
• 25:36pieces were truly going to capture,
• 25:38because these were creative for them.
• 25:41And I didn't even see myself as
• 25:42the artist behind this work.
• 25:43In a way,
• 25:44I started think of myself as the medium.
• 25:47Between the patients and the
• 25:48experiences or the expressions of
• 25:50their experiences created for healing.
• 25:53So yeah,
• 25:54I guess they just really spoke
• 25:55to my passion for, I guess,
• 25:57breaking art in medicine and health.
• 25:59And I truly believe that artistic
• 26:02thinking and artistic strategies
• 26:04and interventions can have a huge
• 26:06role in promoting mental health
• 26:08and just psychiatric conditions
• 26:10and healing in general.
• 26:12So yeah, I.
• 26:13I mean,
• 26:14I wrote descriptions for like
• 26:16what each piece went like,
• 26:18the description of everyone's experience.
• 26:21But I guess I couldn't really show them here.
• 26:23But.
• 26:23And I was interested to see like the
• 26:25actor description behind these pieces.
• 26:27I just let me know.
• 26:29I can send you like the website.
• 26:31These are just seven out the 50
• 26:33pieces I created because fifty
• 26:35people were enrolled in my study.
• 26:38So, yeah, thanks so much for having me here.
• 26:41Yeah, thank you.
• 27:00Everybody, everybody is forgetting to
• 27:02take their very special certificates.
• 27:10Okay. So I am happy to welcome back
• 27:14Matthew Ponticello who is going
• 27:17to read his 2nd place winning.
• 27:26Pros okay. Disenlightened inner child.
• 27:33I won't break out at this time.
• 27:35Thank you. Hi again, I'm Matt.
• 27:37I was unemployed. Introduce myself.
• 27:38I'm a first year, I'm DPHD student
• 27:40and the next
• 27:41thing I'm reading is
• 27:42under the category of pros and it
• 27:45is called Disenlined Inner child.
• 27:49And again I feel bad.
• 27:50It's like a darker, sadder piece,
• 27:51but it's from the perspective of
• 27:53my best friend who passed away
• 27:54from a substance use overdose.
• 27:56And after she passed away,
• 27:57there were certain moments of,
• 27:58like me recollecting with people
• 28:00from her family about what
• 28:01was true and untrue about her
• 28:02childhood that she shared with me
• 28:04and different parts of her life.
• 28:05So the story is called
• 28:06Disenlighted in Her Child.
• 28:06So it's kind of like the
• 28:07inner monologue of her in
• 28:08her child as I imagine it.
• 28:09After she passed away.
• 28:12Okay
• 28:14mommy, the therapist asked me if anyone in
• 28:16my life had ever loved me unconditionally.
• 28:18I'm starting to make a
• 28:19list of potential options,
• 28:20and you're the first person I'm writing down.
• 28:22Not because I felt it from you,
• 28:23but because you told me that you were
• 28:26what unconditional love felt like.
• 28:27Now she's asking about the first
• 28:28time I had sex.
• 28:29She's asking because I told her I'm not
• 28:31sure I ever knew what good sex felt like.
• 28:33I think you took that for me when
• 28:35you punished me for ************.
• 28:36I was only five years old when I
• 28:38learned pleasure and joy reserved
• 28:39for a select few in this world,
• 28:40and I was not one of them.
• 28:42Thank you for coming into my room every
• 28:44morning to make sure I wasn't ************.
• 28:45That really drove the point home, Mommy,
• 28:49When did I start having migraines?
• 28:50We're talking about medication history now,
• 28:52and I don't remember when they started,
• 28:53only that I was in second grade and
• 28:55screaming and crying and you had to
• 28:57come pick me up from my friend's house.
• 28:59How could I do this to her?
• 29:00Was all I could think.
• 29:01Meaning why was I such a burden
• 29:02to my own mother?
• 29:03Do you remember Cupcake Wars, Mommy?
• 29:05Those were fun.
• 29:06My friends would come over
• 29:08and we'd big cupcake towers.
• 29:09I always ask you to be the judge because
• 29:11you are so good at making things beautiful.
• 29:13The eggs you'd make for breakfast
• 29:15are Christmas cards you made
• 29:16by hand my whole life. Really.
• 29:18Also made by your hands.
• 29:20My life with you sparkled and shined.
• 29:21It dripped gold.
• 29:22Maybe that's why life after you
• 29:24didn't pan out as we had hoped.
• 29:25I needed adoration and adornment,
• 29:27not broken hearted and stripped naked.
• 29:30Mommy, the psychiatrist is using
• 29:32words like bipolar and borderline now.
• 29:34I'm not sure what they mean.
• 29:36I don't know if I am bipolar.
• 29:38When that man spread my legs,
• 29:39it felt like he was splitting me in 2.
• 29:41Is that what they're calling bipolar?
• 29:43But that was just sex.
• 29:44Or I'm sorry, rape.
• 29:45I learned in my gender studies
• 29:47class that sex assumes consent.
• 29:48I don't think that consent was there.
• 29:50Was it? I'm not sure.
• 29:52Did I say man, I meant men.
• 29:54There was more than one.
• 29:55More than one man who raped me.
• 29:58Mommy, they're asking so many questions.
• 29:59I'm not anorexic.
• 30:01I just can't eat.
• 30:02It feels like sandpaper when
• 30:03I try to swallow.
• 30:04My therapist keeps asking me what they did
• 30:06to me and I can't bring myself to tell her.
• 30:08Saying it out loud will only
• 30:10make it more real.
• 30:12Mommy, you told me once that
• 30:13I'm a parenting failure.
• 30:14Is this what you meant?
• 30:16Mommy, I'm so scared.
• 30:18I didn't know it was fentanyl.
• 30:20Mommy,
• 30:20I told them that I wanted Xanax and
• 30:22that Oxycontin gives me tummy aches.
• 30:23That he insisted.
• 30:24I was so sad that night because I
• 30:26had a party and no one had come.
• 30:28I was so alone.
• 30:29I am so alone. Mommy, please.
• 30:32I am so sorry and scared.
• 30:33I didn't know it was fentanyl.
• 30:35I am so afraid of dying. Mommy.
• 30:38It all happened so quick.
• 30:39I couldn't tell you which breath was my last.
• 30:42Mommy, there is no God on
• 30:43this side of the river.
• 30:44But my God, it is beautiful.
• 30:46I drink my coffee black here
• 30:48and it tastes like cinnamon.
• 30:50I can eat again,
• 30:51although nothing tastes
• 30:52as good as your cooking.
• 30:54Thank you.
• 31:23So as you can see, this next piece is
• 31:27called Suture and Stitch by Kayori Sattam,
• 31:29who won an honorable mention in art and
• 31:34who is somewhere far away at the moment.
• 31:36And so she sent me a paragraph
• 31:38for me to read about it.
• 31:42Much like embroidery requires
• 31:44needle and thread, so does
• 31:46surgery with needle and suture.
• 31:48This piece is a femoral
• 31:49artery Exposure embroidered.
• 31:51The artistry of carefully placing
• 31:53each stitch in the fabric aims to
• 31:56parallel the careful sutures placed
• 31:58by surgeons in the operating room.
• 32:00Art and medicine intersect
• 32:13Okay and next we have a Christina Igia.
• 32:17Who will be reading her poem
• 32:20in an American pandemic?
• 32:36Hello everyone, my name is
• 32:37Christina. I'm a second year
• 32:39MPH student at the School of Public Health.
• 32:42To give a little context for this poem,
• 32:45I wrote this during in spring of 2020, which
• 32:48as everyone knows was the
• 32:50beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.
• 32:52And I won't spoil too much, but.
• 32:57These are basically two poems
• 32:58that can be read as one,
• 33:00and so I would like for everyone to try
• 33:02and listen very carefully and draw,
• 33:05you know, like figurative and
• 33:08literal parallels between stanzas
• 33:10or even perhaps single line.
• 33:12So this is called
• 33:15in an American pandemic.
• 33:20On March 6th, 1900, a Chinese man dies
• 33:23of bubonic plague in the basement of
• 33:26a hotel in San Francisco Chinatown.
• 33:29A day later, city authorities surround the
• 33:31neighborhood with a single cord of rope.
• 33:34I imagine it yellow like caution tape.
• 33:37Before America's eyes,
• 33:39Chinatown transforms into a
• 33:41cage for sick rats and ********.
• 33:44Slowly, it becomes difficult
• 33:47to distinguish between them.
• 33:49In an American pandemic,
• 33:52person mutates into pathogen,
• 33:54we evolves into them,
• 33:55and they are no longer human.
• 33:59On an advertisement for rat poison
• 34:02caricature of a Chinese man
• 34:04swallows a rat no his species hole.
• 34:07It clears out rats, mice, bedbugs,
• 34:10flies, roaches and Chinese they must go.
• 34:13A pamphlet distributed to San
• 34:15Francisco householders suggest
• 34:17large cage traps for killing.
• 34:19Bait to be changed daily between cheese,
• 34:22fish heads, chicken heads,
• 34:23fried bacon, fresh liver and pine nuts.
• 34:27A few ******** would have no
• 34:30perceptible effect.
• 34:31They could be easily digested
• 34:32by the national stomach.
• 34:34But multiply units by millions and the
• 34:38matter becomes exceedingly serious.
• 34:40Physicians call it an oriental disease.
• 34:44Of 167 cases of plague reported
• 34:46in a single month,
• 34:48only eight of its victims were Chinese.
• 34:52Public health officials in Honolulu
• 34:54decide Chinatown must be purified
• 34:57by fire devoted to its nation.
• 34:59The ocean breeze blows a
• 35:02little harder that day.
• 35:04A geyser of burning embers grows 60
• 35:06feet tall, and Chinatown loses temples,
• 35:10churches, theaters, warehouses,
• 35:11stores.
• 35:11I read about how women with strained
• 35:14eyes and tears rolling down their cheeks
• 35:17clung to little children and babes,
• 35:19and I think about my mother.
• 35:22After the fire,
• 35:23there was only smoke and rubble,
• 35:26No baptism instead.
• 35:28Chinatown was rebuilt with the building
• 35:31standing just a little further apart.
• 35:38On January 11th, 2020, Chinese state media
• 35:41report the first death from COVID-19.
• 35:4420 days later, a French newspaper
• 35:48flings 128 point font across
• 35:50an image of a Chinese woman
• 35:52wearing a polyester purple mask,
• 35:54commanding the nation's
• 35:55attention to the Yellow Alert.
• 35:59Another headline interrogates the world.
• 36:01New Yellow Peril,
• 36:02and in America's mind the woman,
• 36:04her name and personhood
• 36:06hidden behind the mask,
• 36:07denatures into an anonymous synonym
• 36:10for sickness and radiates the color
• 36:13of the sun in an American pandemic.
• 36:16Person mutates into pathogen,
• 36:18we evolves into them,
• 36:20and they are no longer human.
• 36:23A dazzling scanning electron
• 36:25microscope image shows the virus
• 36:27emerging from the surface of
• 36:29human cells in a vivid yellow,
• 36:31the same as the skin tone of a slant
• 36:33eyed buck tooth caricature of an
• 36:35Asian woman with the spherical virus
• 36:38replacing her breasts and bugs,
• 36:40a frog leg,
• 36:41a fishtail hanging out of her mouth and skin,
• 36:43Penguins in each hand.
• 36:46Did you know that viruses are not alive?
• 36:51They infect and replicate themselves
• 36:53inside cells until there are enough of
• 36:56them to explode from the host and kill it.
• 37:00The president calls it the Chinese virus.
• 37:02As American bodies pile into trucks parked
• 37:05outside of a Funeral Home in Brooklyn.
• 37:08In the Bronx,
• 37:094 teenage girls assault a
• 37:11middle-aged Asian woman on the bus.
• 37:13They tell her that she caused coronavirus
• 37:16and I think about my mother someday.
• 37:20After this pestilence fades
• 37:22into national memory,
• 37:24they will speak of how
• 37:26they waited for locusts,
• 37:27for flies and frogs and
• 37:29water turning into blood.
• 37:31And they will laugh on the subway.
• 37:35We will stand just a little further apart,
• 38:00Thank you, Christina Okay.
• 38:02Next up is Rose. Bender.
• 38:08And Rose will be reading a piece
• 38:10called 900. And she won an honorable
• 38:12mention in Rose. Thank you. Hi,
• 38:17everyone. So more accurately,
• 38:19I will be reading a very short excerpt.
• 38:23From a much longer story called 900,
• 38:26so I hope not too many plot pieces
• 38:28are missing, but quick context.
• 38:31It's narrated by a paramedic.
• 38:33It's about an ambulance that tries to.
• 38:36I don't want to give too many spoilers,
• 38:38and it may or may not be
• 38:40based on my experiences as an
• 38:45EMTI nearly tripped over the
• 38:46dangling seatbelts as I hoisted
• 38:48Tony onto the stretcher.
• 38:49I peeked at Tony's face and monitor.
• 38:51Both were looking better.
• 38:53Breathing was still
• 38:53labored and a bit shallow,
• 38:55but his lips regained their pinkness,
• 38:56and his sacks were up from the
• 38:5970s to the low 80s, Stable now.
• 39:01We secured him to the stretcher,
• 39:03rolled him out to 900,
• 39:04and hoisted him up.
• 39:06Sorry for the bumps,
• 39:07I said to Tony as I pushed the
• 39:09stretcher through the back doors,
• 39:10my force on his wobbly wheels
• 39:12knocking it a couple times
• 39:13against the walls of the truck.
• 39:15Roger narrowed his eyes at me,
• 39:16then stared into 900,
• 39:18running his hands over her
• 39:19freshly decontaminated steel floor
• 39:21before climbing into the front.
• 39:23He started her,
• 39:24and the loading mechanism clamped down
• 39:25on Tony's stretcher, locking it to 900.
• 39:28The bench seat ground.
• 39:30I called up front.
• 39:31Mercy Hospital make it a priority too.
• 39:34I heard the blink of acknowledgement
• 39:36as 900 shifted into drive.
• 39:38I had just clicked open to my my
• 39:39pen start writing my run form when a
• 39:42sound startled me out of my charting
• 39:44that rusty air whistle again.
• 39:45The balloon is flooded back
• 39:47into Tony's hands and lips and
• 39:48his sat stove into the 70s.
• 39:50Hang on Tony, I got you, I said.
• 39:51I turned to the front and yelled.
• 39:53Hey Roger, make that a priority one, will ya?
• 39:55The siren screamed in response,
• 39:57and the sudden acceleration
• 39:58nearly made me lose my footing.
• 40:00Tony's whole body jiggled as we hit
• 40:02every bump and pothole on the road.
• 40:04I fumbled with my keys in the lock,
• 40:05the ALS cabinet to get another net.
• 40:08*** ** * ***** I mumbled as I turned the key.
• 40:10That same rigidity met my rest,
• 40:12like met my wrist like a tightened handcuff.
• 40:15For a moment I considered asking
• 40:17Roger to stop the truck. But how?
• 40:19Stop the truck so the cabinet
• 40:21would maybe open.
• 40:22No way, I thought.
• 40:23He'll think I'm a ***** and
• 40:25it probably won't work.
• 40:25Anyway,
• 40:26I stumbled for telling myself it was
• 40:28a sticky lock and opted for CPAP.
• 40:30At least that was a BLS skill,
• 40:31so the cabinet had no lock.
• 40:34I'm going to give you a mask
• 40:35to help you breathe.
• 40:36OKI reached over Tony's head to
• 40:37grab the big metal sliding handle.
• 40:39It'll I felt my whole body lock up.
• 40:42The CPAP door was
• 40:43stuck shut too. Out
• 40:45the back window I saw cars fade
• 40:47into the distance behind us.
• 40:48Hold over to let us pass.
• 40:50We were approaching the highway now
• 40:51and there would be no stopping.
• 40:53Maybe he'd be okay on just
• 40:55oxygen for the next few minutes.
• 40:56I looked at Tony's NRV, the reservoir bag.
• 40:59The reservoir bag was flat,
• 41:01suffocating him.
• 41:01I yanked it off and checked
• 41:03the main oxygen tanks outlet.
• 41:05Not even a whisper of gas.
• 41:07I switched to the stretcher oxygen,
• 41:08then the one from the first in bag.
• 41:10Still silence. Tony grew blur.
• 41:13His breathing got shallower.
• 41:14His stocks kept falling
• 41:18727067. He was going to
• 41:20stop breathing any second.
• 41:22I pulled the BVM out of the first in bag,
• 41:24dug my nails into the plastic wrapper,
• 41:26tearing it apart.
• 41:27I shoved the back of the stretcher
• 41:28down and pressed the mask
• 41:29into Tony's pale, cold face.
• 41:31I squeezed the bag to give a breath.
• 41:33His chest rose smooth and heavy.
• 41:35Again, a breath chest rise and fall.
• 41:38This is fine.
• 41:39I can bag him all the way to the hospital.
• 41:42Muscle memory took over and the
• 41:44familiar task of uncomplicated
• 41:45bagging returned my own
• 41:46respiratory rate closer to normal.
• 41:49I had this call made me so panicky.
• 41:50It was just an oxygen issue and a
• 41:53door issue and a well, things happen.
• 41:55I'll bring some WD-40 next time.
• 41:57I moved my hand down to his carotid for
• 41:59a pulse check, and I nearly screamed.
• 42:02Instead of skin, I felt something
• 42:03cold and stringy and smooth,
• 42:05as if his neck had morphed
• 42:06into a tangle of tiny snakes.
• 42:08When I lifted the mask from Tony's face,
• 42:10I saw it. The tubing of the BBM
• 42:12had wrapped around Tony's neck,
• 42:14not just once, but three times.
• 42:16Snuggly. On what end?
• 42:17It had tied itself to the stretcher
• 42:19frame next to his head and on the
• 42:21other end to the cabinet sliding
• 42:22door handle opposite his feet.
• 42:24I dropped the VDM and fumbled with my
• 42:26pants snaps to grab my trauma shears.
• 42:28As I moved to cut the tubing,
• 42:30900 shut off the interior lights,
• 42:32the on and off glow from passing St.
• 42:34lamps,
• 42:35and our own red and blue light
• 42:36reflections lit the interior like
• 42:38a strobe light at the world's
• 42:39deadliest dance party.
• 42:40The lights disoriented me,
• 42:42but only for a moment.
• 42:44900 turned on just one light
• 42:45above the cabinet where the tube
• 42:47was fastened to help me cut.
• 42:48I moved in with my trauma shears,
• 42:50but the Ivy pull from the stretcher
• 42:52swung up and knocked them from my hands.
• 42:55900 snow change Jingle below,
• 42:56as if to laugh at me.
• 42:58Then she yanked the cabinet open,
• 42:59pulling the tubing tight around Tony's neck.
• 43:02Any rudimentary breathing he had
• 43:03had before was squeezed out of him.
• 43:05His face turned bright red,
• 43:07then purple, then blue. Roger.
• 43:10What?
• 43:10Stop the truck?
• 43:11We had already started pulling off
• 43:13the exit ramp towards the hospital as
• 43:15900 rolled up towards the red light.
• 43:18I climbed up to the window that
• 43:19separates the patient area from
• 43:21the cab and shoved my body through.
• 43:22Don't ******* move, I said to him.
• 43:24Roger glanced at me strangely,
• 43:26unsurprised to see the front half
• 43:27of his paramedic partner hanging
• 43:29out from the separator window.
• 43:31I yanked the gear shift into park,
• 43:32killed the engine, and grabbed the keys.
• 43:34It was as if someone had twisted
• 43:36every faucet in a bathhouse.
• 43:38The hiss of four still open
• 43:40oxygen bottles filled the truck
• 43:41as they released the gas at the
• 43:43at their highest floor rate.
• 43:44I didn't even bother with the mask.
• 43:46I picked up a bottle and rested
• 43:48it on Tony's lap.
• 43:49The outlet pointed towards his blue face.
• 43:51I connected another BVM and
• 43:53got in as many ventilations as
• 43:54I could before Roger climbed
• 43:56through the back doors wordlessly.
• 43:58He held out his hands for the keys.
• 44:00I ignored him and walked out
• 44:02through the back to drive 900 the
• 44:04rest of the way to the hospital.
• 44:06That's the end of this excerpt.
• 44:33So we have one more piece
• 44:36and please don't leave.
• 44:41Okay. Fine.
• 44:44We wanted to get a group picture
• 44:47of everybody who did this.
• 44:49But you want to do it now before.
• 44:52Yeah, let's do it now.
• 44:55OK. So all presenters
• 44:59quickly gather and then we'll hear from Anki.
• 46:04OK,
• 46:08OK, Anky.
• 46:11We want an honorable mention in the
• 46:14art category and she will tell us
• 46:16about her piece called Cigarettes. Yes,
• 46:24thank you so much all. So this is my
• 46:28series about the cigarette. So this
• 46:29is the first part
• 46:30and this is the Part 2.
• 46:33So this is a series of my friend
• 46:34and I create during the pandemic.
• 46:36Those are cigarette
• 46:37that we might or might not smoke. And
• 46:43yeah, so these serious
• 46:45adults into their relationship between
• 46:47the cigarettes and the anxiety issues
• 46:50through my lens and I seek to convey
• 46:52the emotional turmoil that those
• 46:54struggling with the mental illness
• 46:56often face and how these cigarettes
• 46:59become a crutch to cope with the pain.
• 47:02And each photo is a glimpse into the mind
• 47:04of someone as the person document their
• 47:07thoughts at the moment and smoke away
• 47:09through the cigarette. And
• 47:11this photo series aim to spark the
• 47:14conversation and probably potentially
• 47:16encourage a greater understanding
• 47:18of the complex relationship between
• 47:20anxiety and a cigarette smoking.
• 47:23And I truly hope this work would not
• 47:25only rise awareness of this issue,
• 47:27but also inspired those recent side
• 47:29issue to seek support that they
• 47:31need and to lead a healthier life.
• 47:33Yeah. Thank you so much.
• 47:51Thank you, everybody. We ended a
• 47:53little bit early because two people
• 47:55couldn't be here, Sydney Steele and
• 48:00and Kristen Brockler.
• 48:03Both who are pros winners.
• 48:07We hope that a lot of these pieces
• 48:09will appear in some future issue
• 48:11of the Medical Student and health
• 48:14profession Students Magazine Literary
• 48:16and art magazine called Murmurs.
• 48:17So stay tuned for that.
• 48:19And Abby is here to write about
• 48:23this event, so talk to Abby.
• 48:27And yeah, thank you all.
• 48:29That was like, it's so different to read
• 48:31and look at these things versus hearing
• 48:34you speak them out loud and they just kind
• 48:36of come to life and really like each one.
• 48:38I was just like I didn't want it,
• 48:40you know, kind of emote in between.
• 48:43But really, really wonderful, profound,
• 48:46beautiful pieces that you all have created.
• 48:49So thank you for sharing them with
• 48:51us and really a lot of you for just
• 48:53like putting your your full self.
• 48:55Into it and and out there in public,
• 48:57which is not easy.
• 48:57So thank you for doing that.
• 48:59And it's really, really meaningful.
• 49:01And yeah, thank you.
• 49:03Thank you all for coming.