Poetry & the Healing Professions

November 23, 2021

Information

The second session in this two part event was a reading and remarks from Jubi followed by a panel discussion on identity, intersectionality and healing through poetry.

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00:00Steve
00:04thank you for recording Cayetana.
00:06I'm bookmarking by saying if you
00:08weren't here you missed some prime
00:10content for subscribers only. Uhm?
00:12The next poem I'm not actually going to
00:15do an introduction or a big story about.
00:18I wrote it during the pandemic
00:20and I think when you hear it,
00:22some of that inspiration will come through.
00:23It is simply called breath.
00:29Strange to think I'd not thought
00:32much before now about its drum beat.
00:36How breath tickles the tip of my nose?
00:40How breath ushers in
00:42memories of all the pray,
00:44the scorch prayers of consumed.
00:48Her breath renders every bit of shredded
00:52flesh stuck between the gaps in my history.
00:57Breaths incendiary wetness.
00:59How little droplets of breath,
01:02cloud and mist and kettle whistle in
01:05the cold, and sometimes the heat.
01:07How breath drenches my upper
01:09lip when I wear my mask,
01:11and it's that the mask that's the reckoning,
01:15the barrier between me and the world
01:20consuming my expired improvisations.
01:24Once Upon a time, I thought This is why
01:26they rail against wearing their truth.
01:29On their faces, their masks, that is.
01:34It's nothing about them wanting to be seen.
01:38As if our gaze was met.
01:41Was matter Oh no.
01:43So much lighter than breath that weight.
01:47My own ignorance is a cloak
01:50I found in a thrift shop.
01:53My people have long known that
01:56particular structures.
01:57I mean structures of breath.
02:01They've studied breath under a microscope,
02:04cut it into splice size,
02:06slivers with a scalpel,
02:08spread it thick over them dared to blanket
02:12themselves in it in the grips of ships.
02:15It's typical to call where they laid us end
02:19to end to the very last of hours the hold.
02:24But I worry,
02:25you'll hear that as embrace
02:27and that would be a blasphemy.
02:33So. That came out of the pandemic.
02:38Actually, I didn't write anything
02:40from April to October of 2020.
02:45Or at the beginning of May.
02:46Honestly, let's just let's call it.
02:48I didn't read anything from George
02:51Floyd until about the about the
02:53week before the election of 2020.
02:55The fall elections and I was just
02:57in a state where I couldn't write.
02:59Nothing was coming.
03:00I didn't try to force it.
03:02I tried to feed my creative self other ways.
03:05I listened to music.
03:06I watched movies,
03:07but I couldn't write and I realized.
03:10At some point,
03:11the week before the election that whatever
03:13the outcome of that election was,
03:15and I was not at all clear what it would be.
03:19That I was going to need to persevere,
03:20'cause that's what my people,
03:22my ancestors, my current people
03:24in my future people needed me to
03:26do and somehow that just loosed a
03:29whole lot of stuff and breath is
03:32one of the very first poems I wrote
03:35after I finally was able to read
03:38again after six or seven months.
03:40The next poem is called Machete,
03:43and it doesn't really need.
03:44I don't think introduction, so here.
03:48For those of you who feel it is machete.
03:53Listen, listen my loves.
03:56The path toward liberation.
03:59It's thick with Bramble.
04:02It will need to be cleared,
04:04and that's long labor and based
04:06on our history, who we've been,
04:08who can blame us for not
04:11wanting to wear a yoke?
04:12To hit our purpose to apply.
04:15Still, someone's got to do the work
04:19and it might as well be the poets.
04:22So slide y'all into your long
04:25long sleeves and your thigh high
04:28boots and grab you a machete.
04:31At first it'll feel eel to you that tool,
04:35it'll wriggle out your hands
04:37like an ornery child,
04:39but I promise you you'll hit the gist of it.
04:43I've seen a 6 year old scamper up the
04:45full sky height of a palm tree and
04:48freeing herself from gravity with only
04:51the muscles of her thighs claim a
04:53clutch of coconuts with a single whack.
04:57One for her trouble to nurse her thirst.
05:00The rest to market to ********* market.
05:05The marcelli's worst purpose
05:07is to clear the path.
05:09You'll need a torch to to burn away
05:12the underbrush and thus matches,
05:14and next an accelerant.
05:17Your rage will do just fine.
05:22As you clamber along,
05:23clearing your way toward birth mind,
05:26you don't trip over the helter skeletons
05:29of those who raged before you.
05:32And resist the urge to stick a finger
05:34where it don't belong, like an eye socket.
05:38You know damn well it's disrespectful.
05:42What you do when you stumble upon
05:44an ancestor is, you say,
05:45not a prayer, never a prayer.
05:49A simple ashei.
05:51Then you take a sip of your coconut
05:53water right from the source.
05:55In the manner of a toast.
05:57Tuck their blessing under the
05:59brim of your belongings.
06:01Them be about it.
06:02Move on,
06:03knife your way through the noise that
06:06angle head straight for the capital.
06:09The source of all that stench?
06:11What's been wooing you all along?
06:15Burn it, don't think, don't blink,
06:18don't bluster, burn it all.
06:22Tinder Tinder for your arms?
06:27Now you're almost free.
06:31What comes next is beyond the event horizon.
06:36Not unknown though unknown to you.
06:40Between you and that moment is doubt.
06:43There's always going to be some simple,
06:45some whimper, or slacking at the last gas.
06:49Don't want to grab your coconut?
06:52Use the water to douse the flames.
06:56No worries.
06:58What you'll need to do?
07:00Is grab your machete.
07:01And ***** *** their hands.
07:07So that's that poem.
07:08I don't explain that poem.
07:10I think that's poem speaks for itself,
07:11although I'm happy to answer questions
07:12about that form and talk about it.
07:17Actually, I love that poem in many,
07:18many ways. It's weird when
07:20you're that into your own work,
07:21but I was so proud of myself
07:22the day I finished that poem,
07:24and it might get a little more changing.
07:25But I'm pretty good with it.
07:28Here's another poem I love.
07:30This one shifts gears a little bit
07:33I heard or read somewhere about a
07:37year ago that there was a universe in
07:40which maybe Frida Kahlo and Josephine
07:42Baker had met in their lifetimes.
07:45And then I came across a picture
07:47where I'm guessing they were
07:48both somewhere in their mid 40s.
07:51Probably not too long before
07:53Frida Kahlo left us,
07:55but there was a picture of
07:56them talking to each other,
07:57and I just thought this is wonderful.
08:00So what I did with that was turning
08:02into a poem called Queer Fanfiction,
08:05Frieda and Josephine at La Casa Azul.
08:12Josephine slays for days lays the rhythmic
08:17glyph of her across the cool saltiel floor
08:22coaxes her toes into a perfect on point.
08:27Tux, the world behind her eyes,
08:30says cast me, however, you will.
08:35Freda forgets every fickle bit of
08:38man or metal that ever pierced her.
08:41Drops to her brittle knees.
08:45Her hands too fall unable to resist the
08:50pull of gravity to Josephine's errant belly.
08:55Their predate racist circle
08:58after flawless circle.
09:00Josephine Giggles forgets to
09:03taught like she's expected to.
09:06Her breath expands,
09:08rises rises to meet the harden tips
09:12of Frieda's paint stained fingers.
09:17I've never met a canvas that
09:20would not respond to touch.
09:23Frieder whispers Josephine begins to sing.
09:29Wanting you is my offense.
09:34You have all the evidence.
09:38No wait, wait for you to send to me.
09:44Debt. Frida thinks death by 1000 Blisses.
09:51Frieda reads like a book to Josephine.
09:55Who lifts a single finger?
09:57Says everything she needs
10:00to with a hook. Come.
10:06So I have two more poems for you, this one.
10:11Is a bit along the lines of machete,
10:14although maybe a little dumb.
10:17More intense in some ways to me and the
10:20last one is excessively sentimental, which,
10:22as I promised Alice will come with a story.
10:26So I'm going to do the opposite
10:29of the legend Teen attorney.
10:32I'm gonna start hard in my last two
10:35columns and then easier I think.
10:37So this poem. It's called addendum.
10:43And abbreviated list of the universe
10:46of **** I continue to fail to learn.
10:50How to say I'm sorry and let the words rust.
10:54Hang there in the thinnest air.
10:56Will the loft only by their in description.
11:01The word in any language for the moment when
11:03you fall in love with someone you've never,
11:06ever met face to funny face.
11:10How to bare my belly to the sun in
11:13full view of everyone I say I love.
11:16How to say I love you while pouring
11:19cornflakes into a chipped ceramic bowl
11:21ringed with fading daisies, blue and
11:24yellow and freed of bees and meaning.
11:27How to look West toward the sinking day.
11:31How to expose my wedded cheek to
11:34anyone who wants to wound me further.
11:37Have not to feel the bullets.
11:39How not to feel the bullets,
11:41how to pronounce my name without
11:42a knee on my neck.
11:44How not to flee the bullets?
11:47How green can be a minted thing that
11:51swallows my toes or saddles my back
11:55depending on the con. How to say?
11:59No more how to say no more.
12:02How to point my gun right at the right
12:05that the right at the right and shoot.
12:08How to say no? More.
12:14How to fly? How to fly high?
12:18How to rise above?
12:21How to heal?
12:24How to heal?
12:27How to heal?
12:32So that's that poem. End.
12:36So we come to my last poem and I'm going
12:39to tell you the story before I read it.
12:42Uhm? My mother. Like my husband,
12:47better than she likes me
12:48and don't feel sorry for me.
12:49I'm very pleased with this.
12:50I am a man of not the most patience and
12:52I've heard all of my mother stories.
12:54I love her but I've heard
12:56all her stories before.
12:57My mother can tell my husband my stories
12:59and he will set up with her till two
13:01or three AM when they're visiting and
13:02drink cognac together and she will
13:04tell him every story about me in her life.
13:06He may know more about
13:09her now than I do which.
13:12Might be valuable to me at some point,
13:14so I am literally OK with all of this.
13:17Here's the story.
13:20In 2014 we went to Barbados,
13:22which is where my parents
13:24are from to visit me,
13:25my mother and my husband, my mother.
13:28Previous to that time had been that mother
13:31of a generation that felt I get it.
13:34You are gay.
13:35This is your husband.
13:36I love him, I love you but we don't need
13:38to have this conversation loudly, do we?
13:41We don't need to share this with the world,
13:43or at least my world, do we?
13:45And so my mother and I had that
13:47they thought I love you, mom,
13:49I don't need for people to know.
13:50This in your world,
13:51if they ask me straight questions,
13:53I'm not gonna lie,
13:54but they also don't need to broadcast
13:56this if you are more comfortable with
13:58your people not knowing me in that way.
14:00I live with it.
14:01I'm gonna go live my life regardless.
14:03So that was our understanding.
14:05So one night we had rented
14:07an apartment together.
14:08A two bedroom apartment.
14:10My mother had a cousin coming by and.
14:13This cousin I should say,
14:15is evangelical in the sense of
14:18capital E capital van Jellicle.
14:20So that cousin was coming by because it,
14:22and so when they got there my
14:24mother said by way of introduction.
14:27This is my son Judy 'cause I had
14:29never met this cousin and this
14:31is his friend Paolo.
14:33Neither Paulo nor I had an issue with this.
14:36We really didn't because we understood.
14:38We come from that generation.
14:40We make allowances for our parents.
14:42I don't need or I didn't think
14:44I needed my mother to change at
14:46that late date in my life.
14:50We go to our room 'cause our room
14:52is where the air conditioning is,
14:53and so we're chilling in our room.
14:56Eventually this cousin will leave and
14:57maybe we'll go hang out with our mother.
14:59We're not concerned when there's a knock on
15:01the door and my mother says to me. And Paolo,
15:04can you two come out here for a minute?
15:07And so we come out.
15:09There is the President sitting there,
15:10and my mother says to the cousin,
15:12I'm sorry I wasn't clear with you.
15:16This is. My son's husband Paolo.
15:21And. The evangelical cousin got the
15:23hugest grin that one can imagine,
15:26and I swear to you what I thought she was
15:29thinking at the moment was I can't wait.
15:31To get back and tell everybody
15:34this good gossip I just got that's
15:36gonna change the world this night.
15:39Uhm and Paolo and I were both like,
15:42OK, this is.
15:44A moment and we didn't know
15:46what to do with it,
15:48and so we were like OK and we went back
15:50to our room after the cousin left.
15:51She came and got us and
15:53told us and so we were like.
15:55You know you didn't feel then you
15:56didn't need to feel the need to do that.
15:59Nobody asked you to do that work
16:00if you wanted to do, that's fine,
16:02but we didn't feel the need to do it.
16:04And my mother said.
16:07I felt the need to do it because I need
16:10you to know A and she started Apollo,
16:12not me.
16:12She's saying I need,
16:13you know a that I love you and be
16:15your part of my family and I was so
16:18worried that the way I introduced you
16:20made you feel like you didn't know that.
16:22It's hard for me to talk with strings
16:24up getting tripped up because
16:26I think it's a testament to how
16:28people can change and how people
16:29can be boosted by other people.
16:31And I say all this to say the poem
16:33is not about that relationship.
16:35The poem is about how I not speaking
16:40Spanish with Paolo's mother,
16:42who doesn't speak English.
16:44Could maybe try to approximate
16:47that relationship?
16:49So by way of conclusion,
16:50I've been going a while.
16:51This is the last poem it is
16:53called Como amarar to suegra.
16:55Or how to love your mother in
16:58law and is dedicated to power.
17:01One, visit her on her birthday.
17:04Address the birthday card to Mama.
17:07Signing Camilla Brussels windmill
17:09basis he Amor infinito in your best
17:13googled Spanish signed the card in your hand,
17:15writing from both you and her child.
17:18Put her child's name first.
17:21Two offered to help her prepare dinner.
17:25Know that however you need dough
17:27or trap onions,
17:28or seizing the carnitas for the
17:30tamales will be a blast for me
17:32to a chef of her skills.
17:33Except whatever correction she's willing
17:36to offer with spoonfuls of grace.
17:393.
17:39Let her catch you,
17:41stealing a taste of whatever
17:43she's cooking before it's ready
17:45right from the pop.
17:46Be unapologetic when she does say that her,
17:49but it smells so good, Mama.
17:51Fix your lips the pout when she
17:54plays at swatting your hand away.
17:574. At dinner, let her catch you,
18:00plucking a piece of lint from her
18:03child's shirt or brushing a rogue
18:06care from her child's cheek. 5.
18:09After dinner offered to do the
18:12dishes say this way you two will
18:15have some time to yourselves.
18:18Six after dishes offered to drive
18:20everyone into town for a lot to offer my
18:23mind your arm as you escort her to the car.
18:26Insist that she ride shotgun.
18:30Seven hold her child's hand as the
18:32two of you decide whether they share
18:36one or two scoops of pistachio.
18:38Or rum Raisin.
18:418.
18:43Laugh is Mama tells the story
18:45of how her child once ran away
18:47from home because she refused to
18:49serve ice cream for dinner.
18:51No matter how many times you've
18:54heard this story before. 9.
18:57When it's time to say goodbye,
19:00leading and close kiss my mind the cheek
19:03and say to her the only thing I love
19:06more than your son is your tamales.
19:09Watch her giggle like she did back
19:11when she wore her hair in pigtails,
19:13no matter how many times
19:16she's heard this before.
19:1810 melt when Mama touches your
19:20cheek and says in her best.
19:22Practice English.
19:23I only make my special birthday
19:26tamales for two people,
19:28my son and the man he married.
19:31Melt no matter how many times
19:35you've heard this before.
19:37Thank you all so much for listening.
19:42Cayetana back to you.
19:50Thank you. Uhm?
19:56I've heard in other recordings, UM, you did
20:02some of these poems, UM?
20:05But it's always a treat to
20:07hear it directly from the poet.
20:10Come and and live like this, so I.
20:17Really enjoyed this, UM,
20:20so I'm going to collect myself
20:24by bringing on our panel.
20:27Uhm so if a Cindy's already
20:30got her camera on.
20:32So if Brianna and Waleed
20:34could turn theirs on,
20:35let me make that possible now.
20:43OK. So let me start with.
20:47I'll introduce the panelists.
20:49Semi Cousteau is professor of psychiatry,
20:51deputy chair for Diversity Equity inclusion
20:54in Psychiatry and Director Program
20:57Evaluation and Child Trauma Research
20:59Center at the Consultation Center.
21:01In addition, she is as some of you,
21:04the very beginning no.
21:05The main reason that we
21:07have to be here now, but.
21:08I think the fun fact and maybe Cindy
21:11will talk about this is they went to
21:14college together and while he can't,
21:17who's on now?
21:18Is a fourth year Med student and
21:20member of the management team for
21:22the Dean's Advisory Council on.
21:24Sorry, I'm LGBTQ.
21:25I plus affairs and someone I've had the
21:28pleasure of working with for four years now,
21:31so it's been terrific.
21:35Uhm, sorry.
21:36I think we've picked up
21:38somebody's microphone.
21:41Let me leave that person.
21:52No, I think they may be gone.
21:54OK, I'm sorry about that
21:56and Brianna Davis, Reyes,
21:59postdoc fellow, neuro scientist,
22:01and is one of the cofounders of
22:03the Yale Black Postdoc Association.
22:06I think I will stop there
22:08with the introductions, but I
22:12can't turn my camera on,
22:13and I'm OK with that,
22:15but I just want to let you know,
22:16in case you wanted me to have it on
22:18it's.
22:20Pregnant right now.
22:22Here we go. OK OK hi hello. Uhm, so I'm
22:28going to start with Cindy and it's.
22:31It's not necessarily a question
22:32specifically about the poetry,
22:34but feel free to jump into that.
22:36As I mentioned,
22:37Cindy was the person who came to myself
22:40and a couple of others and said, hey,
22:44I have this really terrific person.
22:46Might you think about bringing
22:49him to campus to speak?
22:51So I just kind of wanted to ask you,
22:53Cindy, if you can comment on
22:55sort of what you were thinking.
22:57Uhm, and you know how?
23:00How did this turn out?
23:01Did we do a good job?
23:02This is what you envisioned.
23:04It's absolutely a wonderful job
23:06and it's just great to see Judy.
23:09Thank you so much for being here.
23:11But UM, as Cayetana mentioned,
23:14I I have known Judy for
23:16a long time in college.
23:18We won't say how many years ago that was up,
23:20but I knew him then and I guess
23:23just kept up on social media.
23:26And so I knew that he was a writer
23:29and a poet, just from things that he
23:32would post awards he had gotten and.
23:34And workshops that he would
23:36participate in or had gotten
23:38invited to very prestigious things,
23:40but I hadn't really listened
23:43to his work necessarily.
23:45UM, and then I saw him recently on PBS.
23:49They have a segment called
23:52Brief but spectacular, UM,
23:54and I was just really moved
23:58by his work and his story.
24:02There was a poem that he read called,
24:04I believe it's called.
24:07Transubstantiation and just.
24:10The imagery UM from ancestors
24:13and slavery and resiliency and
24:17just really moved by notions and
24:22definitions of vulnerability and.
24:27I just was really moved by it.
24:30I'm a psychologist.
24:31We talked about vulnerability all the time,
24:33but the way that he talked about it
24:35up taking the risk of being known and
24:38hopefully they'll be loved regardless,
24:41was just a whole new perspective
24:44for me as a mental health provider
24:46and a research or around people's
24:48health and well being.
24:50And I just thought it was really
24:52powerful piece and just really moved me.
24:56And also because of.
24:58Issues of intersectionality and
25:00and we talk about that here a
25:02lot and I'm not sure that we.
25:05Embody that, in terms of really,
25:08what does it mean?
25:09What does it look like?
25:10Who's voices are we
25:12hearing and can hear from?
25:14And so I thought it was just a
25:17wonderful opportunity to hear
25:19from someone who moved me and
25:20hopefully could do that for others.
25:22But to really think about
25:25intersectionality and these forces and
25:28systems of oppression that impact us and.
25:33Just hearing from.
25:36A voice that could share so much with us,
25:40and so that was really the impetus.
25:45I think I don't think we ever
25:47actually really talked about
25:49what was motivating you,
25:50so that was really nice to hear. Thank you.
25:52Uhm, well turning it over to Breonna.
25:56Uhm, I just wanted to ask you,
25:59it was interesting.
26:00You know when I first reached
26:02out to you a Mylene,
26:04Fernandez said this is Brianna's
26:06thing and so really curious to
26:08hear your reaction and thoughts
26:10to what you heard this afternoon.
26:14Yeah, well first I wanna say
26:16that I think that humility and
26:19reading a poem of the magnitude.
26:23The poems that you have here and
26:25saying well, this is that poem.
26:27I was just like boys spitting fire
26:29right now like I'm just clapping.
26:31You couldn't see my face so that's probably
26:33good and my my camera was off 'cause I
26:35would have been very distracting so up.
26:37But Eileen said this about me because
26:40I like to write poetry as well.
26:42Although I can't say that
26:44I'm I'm quite as good.
26:46UM, however, I think what?
26:49What sort of stands out when
26:52listening to poetry like this is dumb.
26:54A lot of different things for you.
26:56There was a lot of vulnerability.
26:58A lot of I don't know,
27:01just a lot of emotion and it
27:03takes a particular kind of talent
27:05to be able to leave emotion into
27:07something as abstract as a word.
27:10UM, I think that's literally like the
27:12best part of literature is being able
27:14to pick up on all of those emotions.
27:17All those little treats that an author
27:20leaves behind intentionally and and
27:23it's just like a little goodie bag.
27:25Uhm,
27:25so I actually had the poem up on
27:27my computer as you were speaking.
27:30I'm gonna weirdo that likes reading
27:32captions while the the television
27:34show is going on and that was also
27:3790s because I could see certain
27:39play on words like the a poem
27:42addendum at the last line.
27:43How to heal?
27:45How to heal and then how to heal up?
27:48You guys probably didn't notice,
27:49but the heel HEL and I I don't know.
27:52I just I got a real bang out of
27:54the the difference.
27:56Different use of of what is it called
27:58when you use a word that sounds the same?
28:01I can't remember what the the literary term
28:03is for well. I know what you mean. Yeah
28:07yeah yeah. So it was.
28:08It was very very exciting. So uhm.
28:10Those are the things that I
28:12think stood out to me the most.
28:14I know I sound really,
28:15really excited and dorky right now,
28:16but I I really enjoy
28:18listening to your poetry so.
28:22I know when I turn it back
28:23over to Kate and I'm sorry.
28:27And well, and I'm just going
28:28to turn it to to Wally now.
28:30Uhm, you are a. I may have messed
28:34this up your 4th year or fifth year.
28:37Analogically, 40 Braille
28:38calls at 50 year. It's weird.
28:42And so you're going to be leaving us soon,
28:45and I'm just curious from your perspective.
28:49I'm not going to call you young.
28:51I'm not gonna call you you
28:53through anything like that.
28:53But from your perspective,
28:55you know what was,
28:57what was your impression.
29:00Yeah, first of all,
29:01thank you so much for having me come.
29:03I just want to say I'm glad my
29:05video part was off 'cause I like
29:06tearing up behind the screen.
29:08So I was some of those.
29:09The point that JWB red were really
29:12impactful and some of them some of them I
29:15kind of could relate to in some capacity.
29:17Personally specifically the
29:19peacocking one that I really really
29:21that really moved me personally.
29:24I am so just about my experiences
29:26poetry so I love reading poetry
29:28but I tend to be poetry.
29:30Scripture 'cause I'm from Pakistan,
29:32and you know poetry is a big part
29:34of our literature over there.
29:36In English.
29:37Actually,
29:37I'm more familiar with the
29:39probate Pro is less with poetry,
29:41so when I was reading your poem
29:42I was actually 'cause since
29:43I'm not that familiar with,
29:45you know,
29:45I don't read a lot of English poetry,
29:47so I was having trouble understanding where
29:49to put the emphasis on which words emphasize.
29:51That's why when you were, you know,
29:53reading her poetry, I was reading it,
29:55but the system that still learn
29:57the things you emphasize,
29:58the how you gently change your like tone.
30:02But different with different
30:03you know aspects of the poem,
30:05so I found that really impactful and I
30:06found that it was so much different.
30:08Hearing it from you then reading
30:09it on a piece of paper.
30:11For me personally, actually.
30:14I also like there were you know there
30:16were so many teams that came up but actually,
30:18but the team of vulnerability was
30:20something that I connected the most with.
30:21Actually, you know,
30:22I personally come from a family
30:24that is very stoic, very stoic.
30:26You know,
30:27in our family we pride ourselves in
30:29being a rock essentially that no
30:31matter how much you are suffering
30:32or going through,
30:33never talk about it essentially and
30:36that's something I had to really like.
30:38Learn to grow out of,
30:39and in fact I understand that
30:41sometimes they can also be a sign
30:43of strength to be vulnerable.
30:44Uh, so I'd really like that point.
30:46Really spoke to me that the
30:48peacocking number,
30:48but but overall I really love it actually.
30:51Thank you so much for having me though.
30:56Thank you all. Uhm, I for the the
31:00audience I I really was looking for
31:03a group of folks that would bring
31:06lots of diverse perspectives and
31:08so I'm going to ask the panel and I
31:11invite everybody on the call to put
31:14in the chat as well and I believe
31:17Judy I shared with you some of the
31:20questions that were pre submitted.
31:22So if you want to address those in a
31:25moment but the the the title of this
31:28was poetry and the healing professions
31:31and part of the reason for that was
31:34because our original intent was that
31:36this would be for people in health care,
31:40whether students, trainees,
31:42or attending physicians,
31:44and it broadened it.
31:45It got much,
31:46much bigger than that very quickly,
31:49but I think there is a piece of this
31:52that still holds for us that poetry.
31:55Is often associated with
31:58healing in some capacity,
32:01so I definitely curious to hear what
32:03any of you have to say about that.
32:06And you know, Judy,
32:07I'll just sort of let you start.
32:10Start us off by commenting
32:11you know you saw the title,
32:13what?
32:14What kind of thoughts do you have about that?
32:18I. Write poetry not as my individual therapy.
32:23That's not how I think of it,
32:24but I see myself as embarking on a project.
32:27And like I said, I walk through the
32:29world in this body. This black fat.
32:32Cisgendered male queer body and I'm
32:36a member of several populations.
32:39Who the world would tell or does
32:42tell we can't afford vulnerability.
32:46Whether I'm a black man or a gay man,
32:48or queer or.
32:50Any number of things vulnerability is
32:53is snatched away from us and I I feel
32:56like that's also sort of of a piece
32:59with the notion of sentimentality,
33:02who gets to be Sacramento,
33:03who gets to be nostalgic in the world,
33:05those who have the history,
33:07those who were allowed, the history,
33:08and whether I'm black and our
33:10history was snatched from us around.
33:12Queer and people are every day in
33:15state houses in too many states in
33:18this country trying to erase us.
33:21It feels like allowing ourselves
33:24vulnerability and sentimentality
33:25is at once dangerous,
33:28but also liberating.
33:29We have to be able to engage in
33:32the full spectrum of human emotions
33:34and we have to be able to access.
33:36Our inner selves and I don't know
33:39how to do that without being open
33:42and available and shutting us
33:44off is a way of silencing.
33:46I think in more than one way I don't.
33:50How do I get to experience my full
33:53humanity if I can only be a caricature of
33:56a human being if I don't get to to cry
34:00and laugh and and giggle and be silly and?
34:03All those other things
34:05that aren't things that.
34:06We always get to be,
34:07so that's kind of how I approach it.
34:09I thought of it,
34:11uhm.
34:12And I think of what I why right
34:14is trying to help.
34:15Redefined masculinity quite honestly
34:17for me because of the way I grew
34:20up and what I think my project is.
34:23I don't think about audience when I write,
34:25but if somebody were to ask
34:27me who's your reading before.
34:29I think black folks Bradley,
34:30but I always think I'm making a gesture
34:32towards black women because I think
34:34it's a job black men need to do,
34:36and so I'm hopeful that as I'm doing it,
34:40there are other black men doing
34:43it and that we're encouraging
34:44more and more of us to do it.
34:47And when I say black women,
34:49I mean black women in nonbreeding folks,
34:51people. Other than black cisgender men.
34:55Because I, I see,
34:56I'm sure there is a million
34:57things to address in the world,
34:59but the older I get, the more I'm
35:02about I need to create the world.
35:04I want to live in.
35:05I can't solve all the problems in the world,
35:07and I can't change all the minds
35:09in the world, and that's no longer.
35:10Maybe it never was,
35:11but it's certainly not now my goal.
35:13My goal is to build the best
35:15world I could be in,
35:15and that's one where black
35:17folks contrive in one word
35:18career. Folks can try,
35:19and when were differently abled
35:21folks can thrive, and any number
35:24of other other folks can thrive.
35:29Yeah.
35:31Cindy Rihanna holly healing
35:35professions and poetry.
35:39Well, I think anyone in
35:41the healing professions.
35:41I think the art is just a powerful
35:45tool for self and for others.
35:47So I think any.
35:49Art form or medium that can help
35:52with self reflection and growth and
35:55giving voice to whatever it is that
36:00you're feeling and experiencing.
36:02I think it just helps us be that
36:05poetry or you know other art forms.
36:07I think it's just helps us on our path
36:11and journey to becoming whatever we want
36:14to be a man and just the self awareness.
36:21And freedom of expression.
36:22And I think that that's the the
36:25more we have that and can develop
36:28that within our own species.
36:30I think the better we're able to help
36:33others so you know, as as we can,
36:36you know, move along in our journey
36:38to whatever that is anti racist.
36:43Whatever that journey might be,
36:46and just humanness, quite frankly,
36:48frankly, I think the arts can and.
36:52Be a powerful tool in that process.
36:56I. I agree with Cindy. Uhm,
36:59I think much of the firm in medical
37:03in the medical profession.
37:04Much the language has evolved is
37:07much more equipped to like treat the
37:09human body as like a machine where
37:11there's like this other ring of,
37:13you know this is like kind of
37:16emotional distance that you kind
37:17of maintained by treating it.
37:19It's like a surgeon who covers the
37:21entire body and is that one area
37:22that's right there trying to operate on
37:24essentially where it's just that one
37:26thing that matters to them, that one.
37:28But there's a spleen or stomach,
37:30but the person itself isn't
37:31the most important thing.
37:33So much of the medicine.
37:34The language and medicine is kind of
37:36evolved to treat people like machines,
37:38and I think it's it's the humanities
37:40and the art that allows you to like,
37:42actually connect with the human
37:44side of medicine where trying to
37:46understand what it's like to be in
37:48a state when you're about to die,
37:49or being given a diagnosis of
37:52a terminal illness.
37:53Or what is it like to hear that
37:55your cancer is in remission?
37:56Those are some of the most.
37:57Human elements of medicine,
37:59and I think their best expressed
38:01in in art and in the humanities.
38:03And that's why it's really important
38:05to have that otherwise we can
38:07just have like robots running.
38:08You know, our hospitals essentially,
38:11and I think in terms of art form
38:13there's so many different art forms.
38:15But I think poetry,
38:16particularly in my opinion,
38:17is,
38:17and I find it the most accessible in a way,
38:20you know,
38:21because it's something that uses
38:22words in a sense,
38:23to to to express those emotions where.
38:27I think since language and words
38:29are the most you know,
38:31convenient way for humans to communicate,
38:33I think most people can can find
38:36it more easier to understand and
38:38get versus some of the other more.
38:40Either art from that exists out
38:41there where you might need to
38:43have other experience,
38:44or you know to be able to
38:47understand them better.
38:48So I think,
38:50and also poetry is just so effective
38:52and being able to evoke such strong
38:55emotions between such so few words.
38:57That's why I think it's just
38:59really valuable to have that.
39:02And now add on just a bit,
39:05so so I'm a scientist and I think
39:07that most people when they think
39:09about scientists, they think that.
39:11They remove us from being creative
39:13individuals 'cause you have
39:15math and science and all that.
39:17All those things.
39:17Then you have creativity,
39:19kind of as a separate bubble.
39:21But science is a is a creative
39:23process and I think a lot of
39:25people don't understand that so.
39:29For me, in terms of poetry,
39:31UM, I find creativity.
39:33I I find that poetry is.
39:38Is healing in a sense that it's
39:41just like what was mentioned before
39:43you sort of get to put emotions
39:45and and and deep thoughts into sort
39:47of I don't know, just on paper.
39:50Somewhere during the pandemic,
39:52especially when I had so much time
39:54being at home, I just didn't know what
39:56to do with my thoughts sometimes,
39:58so I would sit down on a blank
40:00sheet of paper and I would just,
40:01I guess, vomited my thoughts.
40:04Kind of out on the paper and and and
40:06and see kind of what came out of it.
40:09And it's it's.
40:10It's like a release, almost UM,
40:12especially when you've got a lot of negative
40:15things or you don't have to be negative,
40:18they can be positive too.
40:19But during the pandemic,
40:21a lot of things were very.
40:23Very negative for me anyways and
40:27and also dealing with the racial
40:30justice climate as a black woman I
40:33had a lot of negative feelings and
40:36sadness centered around that as well,
40:39but I just didn't know what to
40:42do with a while.
40:43I'm sitting at home with kind
40:44of no one really to talk to,
40:46so I think poetry in that way is is very,
40:50very healing. UM and and.
40:53Therapeutic, so those are my thoughts.
40:58Uhm, thank you uhm.
41:02I did want to just point out
41:04Allison played in the chat.
41:06Judy can you see that? Come.
41:11So I just had a chance to read it.
41:14Yes, I did actually and Alice to
41:16boil your question down Alice.
41:18I'm going to read the one line.
41:19I'd love to hear your thoughts about.
41:20Love, rage and vulnerability.
41:23I. That is the project though,
41:25isn't it what I am trying to do is allow
41:30us and my US is probably specific.
41:34I don't know.
41:34It includes everyone in the world,
41:35but maybe it it should.
41:36Maybe it does.
41:37But how can we heal if we can't
41:40be fully expressed human beings?
41:43There needs to be space for miragen.
41:46It's funny I was thinking about this
41:48recently and I decided that I need to
41:51thank Nina Simone and James Baldwin too for.
41:54Allowing me to make space for my range 'cause
41:56they did make space for theirs and I think.
41:59I don't need permission 'cause they've done
42:01it and they told me it was OK to do it.
42:04And if we don't get to be enraged,
42:06how do we get?
42:08'cause rage isn't the same,
42:10isn't it isn't automatically
42:13expressed by violence a lot.
42:16You know we live in a violent society
42:18and like I said, my artist is.
42:19It talks about writing about violence.
42:21My trick is always.
42:23To be reflective about violence
42:25and hopefully a thoughtful and
42:29interrogate if and maybe if I'm lucky,
42:31transformation away,
42:32but also I'm never, ever,
42:35ever mindful that I don't want
42:37to replicate the violence.
42:38I'm not just.
42:39I'm not merely a documentary and
42:42I might want to be that sometimes,
42:44but I'm not trying to recount the balance.
42:47Journalism exists. That's not my job.
42:50My job is to make you see a different angle.
42:54I hope so.
42:56There have been moments in
42:59recent relatively recent art.
43:01Where I wonder about that.
43:04A few years ago there was a
43:06woman who felt the need to paint,
43:08and I think the painting might be
43:10called the casket of Emmett Till
43:12what is the impact of painting that
43:15scene when Emmett Till's mother?
43:18Was very clear.
43:20About how she wanted her son to
43:23be presented to the world in that
43:26most tragic geting inconceivable
43:28of moments for her,
43:29why does that need to be repainted when,
43:32when. Michael Brown died.
43:35There was a poet who thought that
43:38it was a poetic experience to read.
43:42The autopsy report literally verbatim
43:44what is what does that accomplish?
43:48So I think about these kinds
43:49of things all the time.
43:49When I write, I'm trying to.
43:51Document violence,
43:52but.
43:53That's one level that's the
43:55first level of many what I'm
43:57really trying to do is make you
43:59think about a different way so.
44:01Rage,
44:01I think I'm trying to say does not
44:03equate to violence and I think I'm
44:05trying to separate these two and say I
44:07need as a human being as a black man.
44:09As a queer person.
44:10As somebody who feels an affinity
44:12with all sorts of other people
44:14around the world to be able to
44:16express my rage because injustice
44:17exists and then enrages me.
44:19But I also need to be able
44:21to do that in a way that
44:24ideally doesn't threaten you.
44:25In ways that make you want to pass
44:27laws about critical race theory,
44:28or in ways that make you
44:31when you pull me over.
44:33Have your hand on your gut.
44:35So that's a big project,
44:37but it's it's what I think I'm trying to do.
44:39Most of the time.
44:42I don't know if that made any sense.
44:45Thank you. No problem.
44:51Uhm?
44:54We have 6 minutes to go. Uhm?
45:01I do not want to risk.
45:06Missing the opportunity to come let folks
45:09know who has stayed on with us and and
45:12there's quite a few of you there that we.
45:15When we first started talking about this,
45:19uhm, we talked about doing a fall session,
45:23which is happening now and a spring session
45:27and the idea behind the spring session
45:29would be that we would bring Jubi back.
45:31Well, we would bring Jubi back,
45:34but in person and and and I'm you
45:37know now that I'm thinking about it.
45:40I I almost wonder, do we do an in person?
45:44You know redo? Of this event,
45:49because I can tell you the the workshop
45:51was an extraordinary experience,
45:53and I really want others to have an
45:57opportunity to come to share in that Ann.
46:00And I don't know,
46:02six months should be enough time
46:03for you to crank out a couple new
46:05ones and pick a few new ones, right?
46:07And I still have a couple that
46:09I wanted to read,
46:10so I just wanted to sort of put that
46:15little commercial out there that.
46:16That this was always intended
46:18to be a man and ongoing,
46:21uh adventure with one another.
46:26So I want to put that commercial
46:28out there in the last.
46:30Few minutes we literally have four,
46:32UM, did you want to touch upon?
46:34There was the one question and I
46:36can't remember who the person was
46:37and if they're even on right now.
46:39But there was somebody who made
46:41a very similar comment about not
46:42being able to get out of there.
46:44I I'm paraphrasing, get out of their own way.
46:48They were very right.
46:49Brain person.
46:50How can they tap into the poetic mind?
46:55They may have
46:56if that person didn't make the workshop
46:58this morning, I'm going to say.
47:01You know the university willing
47:03if I come in the spring,
47:04please take the workshop because
47:06it it's a lot about that.
47:09Poetry is not an experience of knowing.
47:13It's an experience of not knowing.
47:15It's an experience of discovery.
47:17Most poets will tell you
47:18when they sit down to write.
47:19They don't know where they're going
47:21to end up and poetry prompts to all
47:23design and the poetry prompt is just
47:25an idea that you can write off.
47:27And I gave the folks who participated
47:30in the workshop this morning.
47:32Uhm, a few poetry prompts that work for me.
47:35But also online,
47:36if you type in poetry prompts,
47:39you will find hundreds of them.
47:40It's an experience in.
47:44Not knowing where you're gonna
47:45go and being OK with that,
47:47not worrying about the destination,
47:49just taking the journey.
47:50I told a story in the workshop this morning.
47:53I'm I'm staying Airbnb in Oakland
47:55and this has a lovely garden and this
47:58morning I watched a Hummingbird flit
48:00around and experienced the joy of lavender.
48:04And I could write about the
48:06smell scent of lavender.
48:08I could write about.
48:09The ecstasy that that bird that
48:12Hummingbird appeared to be feeling I
48:14could write about what I as a human
48:17and doing or not doing to protect
48:19that environment and my worries about
48:21that Hummingbird not being around.
48:24In 1020 fifty there's there's so many
48:27opportunities and I think the trick is.
48:31Just don't you don't.
48:32It's not about the destination.
48:34If you're sitting down to write a poem,
48:35think I need to make this point?
48:37That's usually not poetry.
48:39Poetry is about the exploration.
48:42It's about the journey.
48:43I don't know.
48:44Hopefully that makes some sense,
48:46but also will get into that
48:48in workshop coming in April.
48:51Mustard.
48:53Uhm alright, uhm we did it. That was a
48:58lot in one hour I tender frozen. Am I?
49:04I think so.