From our very first medical school interview, to our last meeting with residency program directors, as physician-scientists in training we are always asked one question: how do we plan to “balance” being a physician and a scientist? Some conceptualize this problem with a seesaw, where research and clinical practice sit at opposite ends and constantly battle for precedence throughout our career. This is fundamentally wrong because it assumes we are training for two separate jobs. In reality, for physician-scientists research and clinical practice exist in duality. They represent two sides of one coin and we are training to do one job: to be a physician-scientist (note the hyphen). In Chinese philosophy, dualism is a concept describing how seemingly contrary forces are actually complementary and interdependent. There is a certain duality to many aspects of our training. Thinking back to the past eight years, the most important lesson I’ve learned is this:
Our training is too short to have time to waste, but too long to not have lived.
We do not have enough time. From the first days of our pre-clerkship years, where we try to simultaneously acquire basic science and clinical knowledge while finding potential research mentors, we are short on time. Unfortunately, this never really changes. In our lab years, we struggle to carry out experiments and maintain our clinical skills while finishing our graduate school coursework and teaching requirements. It gets even better when we return to the wards, and we try to remember our clinical knowledge and prepare for board exams while also trying to wrap-up up projects and unfinished papers. There is no time to waste, and small mistakes or lapses in judgement can set us back years.
Find out what matters to you most outside of work because our training is too long to put life on hold.
But our training can also feel too long, and I am not just referring to that one rotation in the specialty you know you’re not going into, or when you’re waiting to image your western blot that you already know has failed for the tenth time. Most of us will spend nearly a decade here, and in that time, you will watch your medical school classmates go through many life stages. They will graduate, go to residency, finish residency, get married, have kids. But, even if you can’t graduate and go to residency, there’s no one (not even the head of your thesis committee) that can stop you from living. Find out what matters to you most outside of work because our training is too long to put life on hold. Most importantly, invest the same energy into it as you do your work – output depends on input, and this is as true for relationships as it is for your work.
Things rarely go according to plan, which is truer to me now than ever as I write this on day nine of self-isolation. But our training is too short to not have a plan – find out what is coming up next and do your best to prepare. Start thinking early about your clinical interests and how to merge them with your research goals. But remember, you have years of training ahead – make time to reflect, re-evaluate your goals, and ask yourself why you’re doing things (or not doing things). Make time to figure out what you really want to do, and why. Seek out role models – people you admire and want to model your career on. But also work to develop your own niche, something that makes you and your passions unique. Find your core group of friends, people who can support you and share in your joys. But learn to be independent and resilient, as you will often find yourself alone. Lastly, be confident (you’ve earned it) but stay humble. Never back down from your goals, but don’t forget to always be kind.