Hi everyone,
Last week’s Grand Rounds by Gurpreet Dhaliwal came at the right time. During a week of news dominated by the trial of a former president, chaos on campus, and relentless war, Dr. Dhaliwal invited us to turn away from the troubles for an hour to consider the power of kindness.
Medical centers are microcosms of society. Like warring countries or polarized parties, we also have siloed groups with competing pressures and priorities. Too often, we abandon civility. How many of you saw yourselves in Dr. Dhaliwal’s videos? How many of you recognized the rude consultant or identified with his victim? How many of you felt uplifted by the second consultant, who was patient, curious, and kind?
Rudeness wrecks our psyches. It divides us and makes us defensive and irrational. We may delay calling consults to avoid being insulted. We may stop speaking with colleagues, staff, or patients to avoid being demeaned. We may defer asking questions, giving feedback, or resolving disputes to avoid being attacked. And maybe people avoid speaking with us sometimes for the same reasons.
But rudeness challenges us to respond with kindness. Rudeness often reflects internal distress, like fear, fatigue, anxiety, depression, and burn out. And kindness can disarm rudeness, defuse tension, and repair relationships.
Admittedly, it’s hard to be kind when you’re being attacked and feeling vulnerable. Sometimes you may need to extricate yourself. It demands discipline and practice to respond to rudeness with kindness, but kindness packs a superpower. Warm words, gentle smiles, and genuine empathy can deliver us from strife and shield us from despair. True kindness elevates us, allowing us to learn, discover, and heal.
So, let’s aim to be kind, even on our most difficult days, and even when—no, especially when—it seems impossible. May the world follow our lead.
Enjoy your Sunday, everyone. Today, I’m driving to Bar Harbor, where I’ll be spending the next two weeks, followed by a week in Nova Scotia. As always, pics to follow.
Take care and stay kind,
Mark
P.S. H/T to Dr. Dhaliwal for recommending this podcast: How Rude!